Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Leaders Who Judge: The Loss of A Soul
Being a bishop or stake president is difficult when you must decide the worthiness of a missionary's worthiness for service. For the most part LDS bishops and stake presidents do a very good job. It is hard to fault them. With the adoption of higher standards of worthiness it must be increasingly more difficult for them to deny young men and women access to going on a mission. Many times it is clear cut when a person has a moral problem the reason for their not being able to go. However from time to time they face lesser more ambiguous or subjective reasons of denying a young person the opportunity to go on a mission.
When you have a leader decide a matter there are inevitably consequences to every decision. Sometimes a leader's decision can impact the eternal future of the person on whom they are deciding. My mission president M. Russell Ballard liked to tell us as missionaries that if you throw a rock in a pond that there are ripples that extend out and can affect a long way and that in life what we do can have consequences that we might not see but still are occuring. He told us we might plant a seed that might one day bear fruit and inversely we should always be examples so as not to affect investigators opinion of members or of the Church.
All of us whether a bishop or stake president is accountable for our stewardship to the Lord. Elder Ballard used to tell us that we will all have to report our stewardship to the Lord whether we be fathers or priesthood leaders. He also said that Jesus Christ himself is the keeper of the gate.
The story I am going to share is a cautionary tale that happened to a member of my family. When I joined the Church in 1974 at the age of eighteen my youngest brother was eight years old. He was a sweet boy who idolized me his big brother. I loved my brother who by nature was very loving. Having had eight children I know that each child has a unique personality and my brother was the type of person who was sensitive. When he was two years old I had a paper route which made me $5 a week. We were very poor and I overheard my parents talking about how there wasn't going to be much for Christmas this particular year since my dad was saving up to move to Las Vegas from Illinois where we lived.
Usually I was a selfish person but something possessed me that year to buy my two sisters and two brothers each a present. I walked all over the town and searched in the four or five stores until I found a present for each one. I am far from being a sentimental type but I went in to a toy store filled with hundreds of toys. I thought about what to give the little guy. I thought of guns that I might give him that I might like to use or a model plane etc. In fact I bought my other brother who was five years younger a model. But I saw a ridiculous green stuff frog with yellow eyes and a bright red tongue. I gave my brother a stuffed animal that he fell immediately in love with. He carried that animal around with him for years. That frog symbolized something in our relationship that was a bond between us.
As a young boy he would lay on the end of my bed and talk to me. I always treated him kindly and we developed a relationship where I would give him advice and counsel. When I joined the church he began to be interested in the church. When he was nine I went on a mission. He knew that his brother was out serving the Lord. He didn't attend any church at the time because my family were inactive Catholics. When I came home from my mission I was able to have my brother taught the discussions and I baptized him a member of the church when he was ten.
A week after coming home from my mission I went to BYU where I stayed for seven years completing a bachelor and master degrees. My father was difficult to handle since I had problems with his bad lifestyle of gambling and womanizing and would only speak to him once every couple of months by phone. I only went home for Christmas vacation and a couple of months in the summer. I stopped going home in the summer about the third year because of the abusive nature of my father. My older sister was also married two years before my mission when she was eighteen My brother was the only one left at home two years after my mission because my father threw out my sixteen year old non-member brother for smoking pot which he found in his sock drawer and my sister who was two years younger than me who became pregnant out of wedlock. My brother and I were the only members of the Church in our family. He went to church in a different ward than the one in which I had attended for the year before my mission. He didn't know anyone there.
He didn't have me there to take him to church. In fact for many years he walked the seven blocks from our house to the chapel. He became an inspiration to me that he was totally active going to church week after week year after year. He was the president of his deacon's quorum, teacher's quorum, and priest's quorum. He attended mutual and received 68 merit badges in scouting. He wasn't an eagle scout because he didn't have enough support from his troop leader but he was a life scout. In fact his optomistic attitude was never accusatory of the people he went to church with. He was always positive and upbeat. He adhered to high moral standards and did not commit any immoral acts prior to his putting in his papers for his mission.
When he was eighteen I finally got married at the age of twenty-eight. In 1983 there was a high degree of inflation and I was given gifts of around $6000 from my wife's family and our friends who were mostly religion professors and their wives from BYU. I placed the money in a savings and loan where it was accruing 12% interest. My brother began expressing an interest in going on a mission like my wife and I had. I told him to work as hard as he could and I would help pay the rest.
In his home stake many of the young men were given jobs by a couple of bishops who had construction companies and paid high hourly wages so many only had to work a summer or two at the most. My brother tried to get a job with them but he wasn't one of the more well-known young men since he was all alone. He got a very low paying job through the LDS employment agency and had about two thousand dollars.
When he turned nineteen I drove down from my ward in Provo and ordained him an elder in the Melchizedek priesthood. I was also with him when he received a patriarchal blessing that declared he would one day be a leader in the church and kingdom of God and that he would serve a mission. I spoke with him about his preparation for a mission and his plans for going to Ricks College after he came home.
Several months passed and I didn't hear back from him. Finally I talked to him. He told me that he was trying to save up for his mission but was having difficulty since my dad was now charging him rent and utilties. He said the stake president decided that he would have to pay all of his expenses or he could not go. He was very frustrated and felt it might take him a couple of years. I told him to go back to the man and tell him to call his brother who was going to pay for his mission.
A few weeks later I called again and he said he had told him that but the man was again insisting he either make it himself or he would never let him go. He also said the leader told him that he had reports that my brother had enuresis (bed wetting) on scouting activities up until he was eighteen. My brother said he was told that missionaries who had a problem like this weren't encouraged to go on a mission. He was shamed and humiliated. He assured me he didn't have the problem any more. I told him what was the big deal even if he had it since he could just get a plastic sheet to carry with him.
Shortly after this I was visiting with Elder Ballard in Salt Lake City. I told him of my brother predicament. He said even though he was not directly over the stake president that he would call him for me. He called the man in Las Vegas. The man told him that he didn't care if his brother had the money for his mission he was not going to send him unless he made all the money himself and that he had a bed-wetting problem. He also told Elder Ballard that it was his stewardship to decide which ended the matter. Elder Ballard thanked him for his time and hung up. He apologized and said he couldn't do anything about the matter and he couldn't force the man since he wasn't directly over him. I went away realizing that even general authorities couldn't exert control on those below them that everyone had their agency for good or bad.
My brother made a couple of more attempts to go on a mission until he was twenty-one. Finally he began gradually to stop going to church. He said the hell with the Mormons if they don't want me then I don't want them. A couple of years later he married a non-Mormon woman who was divorced with two children who was seven years older than him which ended his chances of ever going on a mission.
The influence of that stake president is now being felt in my family as my brother has been inactive for twenty years. His first wife ran off and left him never having had children with him. He remarried a woman younger than him and had a son. She is raising his son as a Lutheran. It really is true that everything we do has ripples that can affect us in to the eternities. That stake president literally destroyed my family as my father and mother also became disaffected over my brother's situation. I pray and hope that any leaders that read this will think long and hard abut why they are denying young and women opportunities to go on a mission. You never know the affect of your decisions. Some might argue he was inspired and must have known my brother would fall away. Others might argue differently. Who knows what Christ will decide?
When you have a leader decide a matter there are inevitably consequences to every decision. Sometimes a leader's decision can impact the eternal future of the person on whom they are deciding. My mission president M. Russell Ballard liked to tell us as missionaries that if you throw a rock in a pond that there are ripples that extend out and can affect a long way and that in life what we do can have consequences that we might not see but still are occuring. He told us we might plant a seed that might one day bear fruit and inversely we should always be examples so as not to affect investigators opinion of members or of the Church.
All of us whether a bishop or stake president is accountable for our stewardship to the Lord. Elder Ballard used to tell us that we will all have to report our stewardship to the Lord whether we be fathers or priesthood leaders. He also said that Jesus Christ himself is the keeper of the gate.
The story I am going to share is a cautionary tale that happened to a member of my family. When I joined the Church in 1974 at the age of eighteen my youngest brother was eight years old. He was a sweet boy who idolized me his big brother. I loved my brother who by nature was very loving. Having had eight children I know that each child has a unique personality and my brother was the type of person who was sensitive. When he was two years old I had a paper route which made me $5 a week. We were very poor and I overheard my parents talking about how there wasn't going to be much for Christmas this particular year since my dad was saving up to move to Las Vegas from Illinois where we lived.
Usually I was a selfish person but something possessed me that year to buy my two sisters and two brothers each a present. I walked all over the town and searched in the four or five stores until I found a present for each one. I am far from being a sentimental type but I went in to a toy store filled with hundreds of toys. I thought about what to give the little guy. I thought of guns that I might give him that I might like to use or a model plane etc. In fact I bought my other brother who was five years younger a model. But I saw a ridiculous green stuff frog with yellow eyes and a bright red tongue. I gave my brother a stuffed animal that he fell immediately in love with. He carried that animal around with him for years. That frog symbolized something in our relationship that was a bond between us.
As a young boy he would lay on the end of my bed and talk to me. I always treated him kindly and we developed a relationship where I would give him advice and counsel. When I joined the church he began to be interested in the church. When he was nine I went on a mission. He knew that his brother was out serving the Lord. He didn't attend any church at the time because my family were inactive Catholics. When I came home from my mission I was able to have my brother taught the discussions and I baptized him a member of the church when he was ten.
A week after coming home from my mission I went to BYU where I stayed for seven years completing a bachelor and master degrees. My father was difficult to handle since I had problems with his bad lifestyle of gambling and womanizing and would only speak to him once every couple of months by phone. I only went home for Christmas vacation and a couple of months in the summer. I stopped going home in the summer about the third year because of the abusive nature of my father. My older sister was also married two years before my mission when she was eighteen My brother was the only one left at home two years after my mission because my father threw out my sixteen year old non-member brother for smoking pot which he found in his sock drawer and my sister who was two years younger than me who became pregnant out of wedlock. My brother and I were the only members of the Church in our family. He went to church in a different ward than the one in which I had attended for the year before my mission. He didn't know anyone there.
He didn't have me there to take him to church. In fact for many years he walked the seven blocks from our house to the chapel. He became an inspiration to me that he was totally active going to church week after week year after year. He was the president of his deacon's quorum, teacher's quorum, and priest's quorum. He attended mutual and received 68 merit badges in scouting. He wasn't an eagle scout because he didn't have enough support from his troop leader but he was a life scout. In fact his optomistic attitude was never accusatory of the people he went to church with. He was always positive and upbeat. He adhered to high moral standards and did not commit any immoral acts prior to his putting in his papers for his mission.
When he was eighteen I finally got married at the age of twenty-eight. In 1983 there was a high degree of inflation and I was given gifts of around $6000 from my wife's family and our friends who were mostly religion professors and their wives from BYU. I placed the money in a savings and loan where it was accruing 12% interest. My brother began expressing an interest in going on a mission like my wife and I had. I told him to work as hard as he could and I would help pay the rest.
In his home stake many of the young men were given jobs by a couple of bishops who had construction companies and paid high hourly wages so many only had to work a summer or two at the most. My brother tried to get a job with them but he wasn't one of the more well-known young men since he was all alone. He got a very low paying job through the LDS employment agency and had about two thousand dollars.
When he turned nineteen I drove down from my ward in Provo and ordained him an elder in the Melchizedek priesthood. I was also with him when he received a patriarchal blessing that declared he would one day be a leader in the church and kingdom of God and that he would serve a mission. I spoke with him about his preparation for a mission and his plans for going to Ricks College after he came home.
Several months passed and I didn't hear back from him. Finally I talked to him. He told me that he was trying to save up for his mission but was having difficulty since my dad was now charging him rent and utilties. He said the stake president decided that he would have to pay all of his expenses or he could not go. He was very frustrated and felt it might take him a couple of years. I told him to go back to the man and tell him to call his brother who was going to pay for his mission.
A few weeks later I called again and he said he had told him that but the man was again insisting he either make it himself or he would never let him go. He also said the leader told him that he had reports that my brother had enuresis (bed wetting) on scouting activities up until he was eighteen. My brother said he was told that missionaries who had a problem like this weren't encouraged to go on a mission. He was shamed and humiliated. He assured me he didn't have the problem any more. I told him what was the big deal even if he had it since he could just get a plastic sheet to carry with him.
Shortly after this I was visiting with Elder Ballard in Salt Lake City. I told him of my brother predicament. He said even though he was not directly over the stake president that he would call him for me. He called the man in Las Vegas. The man told him that he didn't care if his brother had the money for his mission he was not going to send him unless he made all the money himself and that he had a bed-wetting problem. He also told Elder Ballard that it was his stewardship to decide which ended the matter. Elder Ballard thanked him for his time and hung up. He apologized and said he couldn't do anything about the matter and he couldn't force the man since he wasn't directly over him. I went away realizing that even general authorities couldn't exert control on those below them that everyone had their agency for good or bad.
My brother made a couple of more attempts to go on a mission until he was twenty-one. Finally he began gradually to stop going to church. He said the hell with the Mormons if they don't want me then I don't want them. A couple of years later he married a non-Mormon woman who was divorced with two children who was seven years older than him which ended his chances of ever going on a mission.
The influence of that stake president is now being felt in my family as my brother has been inactive for twenty years. His first wife ran off and left him never having had children with him. He remarried a woman younger than him and had a son. She is raising his son as a Lutheran. It really is true that everything we do has ripples that can affect us in to the eternities. That stake president literally destroyed my family as my father and mother also became disaffected over my brother's situation. I pray and hope that any leaders that read this will think long and hard abut why they are denying young and women opportunities to go on a mission. You never know the affect of your decisions. Some might argue he was inspired and must have known my brother would fall away. Others might argue differently. Who knows what Christ will decide?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Arizona Tempe Mission
Arizona Tempe Mission
Missionary Site(s)
LDS Mission Network
LDSMissions.Com
Dear Elder--Elder Brett Lee
Dear Elder--Elder Lyndon Naglis 2008-2010
MissionSite.Net--Elder Tyler Bunderson 2008-2010
MissionSite Net--Sister Kaylie Clayton 2008-2010
MissionSite Net--Elder Patrick F. Gilchrist 2006-2008
LDS Mission Network
LDSMissions.Com
Dear Elder--Elder Brett Lee
Dear Elder--Elder Lyndon Naglis 2008-2010
MissionSite.Net--Elder Tyler Bunderson 2008-2010
MissionSite Net--Sister Kaylie Clayton 2008-2010
MissionSite Net--Elder Patrick F. Gilchrist 2006-2008
MissionSite Net--Elder Loren Michael Miller 2006-2008
MissionSite Net--Elder James Cameron Noble 2007-2009
MissionSite Net--Elder Chase Schults 2006-2008
MissionSite Net--Sister Amy Sefcik 2008-2009
MissionSite.Net--Elder David Watson 2010-2012
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ted Alldaffer 1978-1979
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ryan Allen 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ben Barclay 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Joshua Barnes 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Zackery Beitler 1998-2000
LDSMissions.com--Elder Amory Booher 1995-1997
LDSMissions.com--Elder Kevin Booth 1975-1976
LDSMissions.com--Sister Carlina Carpenter 1991-1993
LDSMissions.com--Sister Adriana Chacon 1997-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder David Clark 1983-1984
LDSMissions.com--Elder Dan Crites 1979-1981
LDSMissions.com--Elder Carlos Cruzato 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder Scott Darrington 1984-1986
LDSMissions.com--Elder Justin Dursteler 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder Brandon Farmer 1999-2001
LDSMissions.com--Sister Melissa Foreman 2002
LDSMissions.com--Elder Kenneth French 1992-1994
LDSMissions.com--Elder Robert Garballa 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder Grant Garrett
LDSMissions.com--Elder Robert Gates 1979-1981
LDSMissions.com--Elder Lewis George 1978-1980
LDSMissions.com--Elder January Goklish 2001-2003
LDSMissions.com--Elder Stewart Graham 1993-1995
LDSMissions.com--Elder Mahonri Guitti 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Sister Rebecca Haacke Endicott 1996-1997
LDSMissions.com--Elder Marvin Hagen 2002
LDSMissions.com--Elder Dale Hall 1980-1982
LDSMissions.com--Sister Mamie Harshbarger 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Sister Anna Heath 2001-2002
LDSMissions.com--Elder Dallas Hill 2001-2002
LDSMissions.com--Elder Orrin Hollom 1982-1984
LDSMissions.com--Elder Stephen Houser 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Brian Hubmann 1983-1985
LDSMissions.com--Elder Robert Hunter 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder Nick Huntington 1977-1978
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ryan Ivory 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder Scott Jensen 1978-1980
LDSMissions.com--Elder Alex Johnson 1995-1997
LDSMissions.com--Sister Jennifer Johnson 1979-1980
LDSMissions.com--Sister Rebecca Wilson–Jones 1997-1999
LDSMissions.com--Elder Tim Judd 1989-1991
LDSMissions.com--Elder Crystal Kauahi 1995-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder John Kelly 1990-1992
LDSMissions.com--Elder Jordan Koyle 2000-2002
LDSMissions.com--Elder Michael Krause 1998-2000
LDSMissions.com--Elder Daniel Leavitt 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Mark Lee 1993-1995
LDSMissions.com--Elder Bill Loski 2001-2003
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ted McCoy 1977-1978
LDSMissions.com--Elder Chris McLaughlin 1992-1994
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ross McMillan 1984-1986
LDSMissions.com--Elder Todd Meredith 1982-1984
LDSMissions.com--Elder Beau Mills 1986-1988
LDSMissions.com--Sister Lisa Miner 1986-1988
LDSMissions.com--Sister Melissa Mitchell 1986-1988
LDSMissions.com--Elder John Moore 1988-1990
LDSMissions.com--Elder Jeremiah Muldowney 1998-1999
LDSMissions.com--Sister Rebecca Nelson Ives 1981-1982
LDSMissions.com--Sister Ann Odom 1985-1987
LDSMissions.com--Elder Ladden Panis 1987-1989
LDSMissions.com--Elder Amy Parker Mangelson 1997-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Zac Pedersen 1998-2001
LDSMissions.com--Elder Daniel Perrine 1987-1989
LDSMissions.com--Sister Jillene Prolo 2000-2001
LDSMissions.com--SisterTausha Pugmire 1995-1997
LDSMissions.com--Elder Jorge Quinteros 2003-2005
LDSMissions.com--Sister Krissie Ruesch 2001
LDSMissions.com--Elder Larry Seibel 1972-1974
LDSMissions.com--Elder Dan Skubal 2003-2005
LDSMissions.com--Elder Mark Smelser 1981-1983
LDSMissions.com--Elder John Smiley 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder James David Smith 1994-1996
LDSMissions.com--Elder Richard Spencer 1998-2000
LDSMissions.com--Elder Kevin Tacderan 1992-1994
LDSMissions.com--Elder Joseph Thayne 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Tim Timmons 1996-1998
LDSMissions.com--Sister Silivia Tatafu–Tonga 1997-1998
LDSMissions.com--Elder Kim Torres 1979-1981
LDSMissions.com--Elder David Ulrich 1970-1972
LDSMissions.com--Elder Don Walker, Jr 2003-2005
LDSMissions.com--Elder Tyler Watkins 1998-2000
LDSMissions.com--Elder Tony Wheat 1975
LDSMissions.com--Sister Julie Whitfield 1987-1988
LDSMissions.com--Elder Christopher Wilks 2001-2003
LDSMissions.com--Elder Kent Zirker 1994-1996
Pictures
LDS Mission Network
MissionSite.Net--Elder Tyler Bunderson
MissionSite Net--Sister Kaylie Clayton
MissionSite.Net--Elder Joseph Fryer
MissionSite Net--Elder Byrce Jeffrey
MissionSite Net--Elder Brandon Jones
MissionSite.Net--Elder Zachary Lindsey
MissionSite Net--Elder James Cameron Noble
MissionSite Net--Sister Amy Sefcik
MissionSite Net--Elder Chase Schults
MissionSite.Net--Elder David Watson
President(s)
"New Mission Presidents Begin Service," ( Dean L. Howes) Ensign [July 2010].
"New Mission Presidents," (Dean Lynn Howes) Church News [Saturday, 1 May 2010].
"Mission President Assignments for 2010," (to be announced, former mission president Robert C. Craig) Church News [Saturday, 13 February 2010].
“New Mission Presidents Now in Place,” (Robert C. Craig) Liahona, Aug. 2007, N4–N5
“New Mission Presidents Now in Place Worldwide,” (Robert C. Craig) Ensign, July 2007, 77–78
"New Mission Presidents," (Robert Carl Craig) Church News [Saturday, 31 March 2007].
"New Mission Presidents Receive Assignments," (new mission president Robert C. Craig, former mission president Jerry A. Buttars) Church News [Saturday, 3 March 2007].
"Young Adults Observe New Years," (Ray Kartchner counselor on mission president addressed them) Church News [Saturday, 13 January 2007].
“New Mission Presidents Begin Service,” (Gerald A. Buttars) Ensign, July 2004, 74–75
"New Mission Presidents," (Jerry A. Buttars) Church News [Saturday, 27 March 2004].
"New and Returning Mission Presidents for 113 Missions," (new mission president Gerald A. Buttars, former mission president Del R. Jones) Church News [Saturday, 6 March 2004].
"New and Returning Mission Presidents," (new mission president Del R. Jones, former mission president Steven Lynn Bates) Church News 10 March 2001].
"New Temple Presidents," (former mission president Jack H. Goaslind Jr. called as president Manti Temple) Church News [Saturday, 23 September 2000].
"Granted Emeritus Status," (Jack H. Goaslind Jr.) Church News [Saturday, 10 October 1998].
"New and Returning Mission Presidents," (new mission president Steven Lynn Bates, former mission president Brice Lee Hedrick) Church News [Saturday, 7 March 1998].
"New Mission Presidents," (Steven Lynn Bates) Church News [Saturday, 28 February 1998].
"Four Leaders Receive New Assignments," (former mission president Jack H. Goaslind Jr. made a president of the Quorum of Seventy) Church News [Saturday, 1 July 1995].
"New Mission Presidents Assigned," (new mission president Brice Lee Hedrick, former mission president Stephen B. Allen) Church News [Saturday, 18 March 1995].
"New Mission Presidents," (Brice Lee Hedrick) Church News [Saturday, 11 February 1995].
“Called to Serve,” (Durrell A. Woolsey) New Era, Jul 1990, 34
Gerry Avant, "Leadership in Tiny Branch Helped Him Stretch, Grow," (former mission president Durrell A. Woolsey called to Second Quorum of Seventy) Church News [Saturday, 16 June 1990].
"Worldwide Mission: 122 Leaders Called," (new mission president Durrel A. Woolsey, former mission president David L. Bailey) Church News [Saturday, 31 March 1990].
“Elder Lloyd P. George of the First Quorum of the Seventy,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 106
Gerry Avant, "His World War II Battle Came in a Heroic Struggle for the Truth," (former mission president Lloyd P. George) Church News [Saturday, 12 November 1988].
“Elder Jack H Goaslind, Elder Robert L. Backman of the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy,” Ensign, Nov. 1985, 100–101
“Four New Missions Created, New Mission Presidents Called,” (Lloyd P. George) Ensign, July 1984, 76–77
“Church Calls New Mission Presidents,” (Val Kent Parke) Ensign, May 1981, 109–110
Jack H. Goaslind, “‘Never Be Weary of Good Works’,” Ensign, Nov 1978, 23
“New Mission Presidents and Their Assignments Noted,” (Warren H. Kennedy) Ensign, June 1978, 78
“Mission Presidents Called,” (Jack H. Goaslind Jr.) Ensign, May 1975, 126–27
“New Supervisory Program for Missions and Regions,” (new mission president Clark M. Wood) Ensign, Sept. 1972, 87–89
LDS Mission Network
MissionSite.Net--Elder Tyler Bunderson
MissionSite Net--Sister Kaylie Clayton
MissionSite.Net--Elder Joseph Fryer
MissionSite Net--Elder Byrce Jeffrey
MissionSite Net--Elder Brandon Jones
MissionSite.Net--Elder Zachary Lindsey
MissionSite Net--Elder James Cameron Noble
MissionSite Net--Sister Amy Sefcik
MissionSite Net--Elder Chase Schults
MissionSite.Net--Elder David Watson
President(s)
"New Mission Presidents Begin Service," ( Dean L. Howes) Ensign [July 2010].
"New Mission Presidents," (Dean Lynn Howes) Church News [Saturday, 1 May 2010].
"Mission President Assignments for 2010," (to be announced, former mission president Robert C. Craig) Church News [Saturday, 13 February 2010].
“New Mission Presidents Now in Place,” (Robert C. Craig) Liahona, Aug. 2007, N4–N5
“New Mission Presidents Now in Place Worldwide,” (Robert C. Craig) Ensign, July 2007, 77–78
"New Mission Presidents," (Robert Carl Craig) Church News [Saturday, 31 March 2007].
"New Mission Presidents Receive Assignments," (new mission president Robert C. Craig, former mission president Jerry A. Buttars) Church News [Saturday, 3 March 2007].
"Young Adults Observe New Years," (Ray Kartchner counselor on mission president addressed them) Church News [Saturday, 13 January 2007].
“New Mission Presidents Begin Service,” (Gerald A. Buttars) Ensign, July 2004, 74–75
"New Mission Presidents," (Jerry A. Buttars) Church News [Saturday, 27 March 2004].
"New and Returning Mission Presidents for 113 Missions," (new mission president Gerald A. Buttars, former mission president Del R. Jones) Church News [Saturday, 6 March 2004].
"New and Returning Mission Presidents," (new mission president Del R. Jones, former mission president Steven Lynn Bates) Church News 10 March 2001].
"New Temple Presidents," (former mission president Jack H. Goaslind Jr. called as president Manti Temple) Church News [Saturday, 23 September 2000].
"Granted Emeritus Status," (Jack H. Goaslind Jr.) Church News [Saturday, 10 October 1998].
"New and Returning Mission Presidents," (new mission president Steven Lynn Bates, former mission president Brice Lee Hedrick) Church News [Saturday, 7 March 1998].
"New Mission Presidents," (Steven Lynn Bates) Church News [Saturday, 28 February 1998].
"Elder Lloyd P. George, former Seventy, dies -- lifetime of devoted service to Church, others," (former mission president 1984-1987) Church News [Saturday, 18 May 1996].
"Five Are Released After Five Years of Service," (former mission president Elder Durrell A. Woolsey from Second Quorum of Seventy) Church News [Saturday, 7 October 1995]."Four Leaders Receive New Assignments," (former mission president Jack H. Goaslind Jr. made a president of the Quorum of Seventy) Church News [Saturday, 1 July 1995].
"New Mission Presidents Assigned," (new mission president Brice Lee Hedrick, former mission president Stephen B. Allen) Church News [Saturday, 18 March 1995].
"New Mission Presidents," (Brice Lee Hedrick) Church News [Saturday, 11 February 1995].
“Called to Serve,” (Durrell A. Woolsey) New Era, Jul 1990, 34
Gerry Avant, "Leadership in Tiny Branch Helped Him Stretch, Grow," (former mission president Durrell A. Woolsey called to Second Quorum of Seventy) Church News [Saturday, 16 June 1990].
"Ten new leaders called to 2nd Quorum of Seventy," (former president Durrell A. Woolsey) Church News [Saturday, 7 April 1990].
“Elder Durrel A. Woolsey Of the Seventy,” Ensign, May 1990, 109"Worldwide Mission: 122 Leaders Called," (new mission president Durrel A. Woolsey, former mission president David L. Bailey) Church News [Saturday, 31 March 1990].
“Elder Lloyd P. George of the First Quorum of the Seventy,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 106
Gerry Avant, "His World War II Battle Came in a Heroic Struggle for the Truth," (former mission president Lloyd P. George) Church News [Saturday, 12 November 1988].
“Elder Jack H Goaslind, Elder Robert L. Backman of the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy,” Ensign, Nov. 1985, 100–101
“Four New Missions Created, New Mission Presidents Called,” (Lloyd P. George) Ensign, July 1984, 76–77
“Church Calls New Mission Presidents,” (Val Kent Parke) Ensign, May 1981, 109–110
Jack H. Goaslind, “‘Never Be Weary of Good Works’,” Ensign, Nov 1978, 23
“New Mission Presidents and Their Assignments Noted,” (Warren H. Kennedy) Ensign, June 1978, 78
“Mission Presidents Called,” (Jack H. Goaslind Jr.) Ensign, May 1975, 126–27
“New Supervisory Program for Missions and Regions,” (new mission president Clark M. Wood) Ensign, Sept. 1972, 87–89
Blog(s)
Elder Eric Daniel Feller 2010-2012
Elder Britton Garr Knaphus 2009-2011
Elder Jason Thomsen 2009-2011
Elder Samuel Bradshaw's Mission Blog 2009-2011
Elder Jason Newhall 2009-2011
Elder Patrick F. Gilchrist
YouTube--Elder Tyler Watson Homecoming
Elder Eric Daniel Feller 2010-2012
Elder Britton Garr Knaphus 2009-2011
Elder Jason Thomsen 2009-2011
Elder Samuel Bradshaw's Mission Blog 2009-2011
Elder Jason Newhall 2009-2011
Elder Patrick F. Gilchrist
YouTube--Elder Tyler Watson Homecoming
Articles
"New Mission Presidents," (former missionary Eric Michael Jackson called as mission president California San Jose Mission) Church News [Saturday, 5 April 2008].
"New Mission Presidents," (former missionary Richard Lee Bracha called as mission president Oklahoma Oklahoma City Mission) Church News [Saturday, 13 March 2004].
Cheri Earl, “Mesa Pageant: Getting into the Act,” New Era, Mar 2003, 20
Amy L. Parker Mangelson, "Missionary Moments: The Best Mistake," Church News [Saturday, 20 July 2002].
Jill B. Adair, "Bringing Others to Christ," Church News [Saturday, 30 March 2002].
"Stake Alignment in Newly Organized Missions," Church News [Saturday, 16 March 2002].
Shaun D. Stahle, "Seven New Missions Created," (Arizona Mesa Mission created from part of Arizona Tempe Mission) Church News [Saturday, 9 March 2002].
“We’ve Got Mail,” (Joshua Lindsay) New Era, Oct 2001, 50
"Death--Ernest J. Whiting Jr." (counselor mission presidency former mission president Oklahoma Tulsa Mission) Church News [28 October 2000].
"Visitors Center, Historic Site Directors Called," (former mission counselor and former New York Rochester Mission president Dale R. Shumway called as president Arizona Temple Visitors Center) Church News [Saturday, 17 January 1998].
"Milestones of Togetherness--LaVern and Ina Wilcox," Church News [Saturday, 29 June 1996].
“Thousands Watch Church Satellite Broadcast,” Ensign, May 1995, 109
Morag Edge, “Feedback--Fasting Is Taught,” (former sister missionary) New Era, Nov 1994, 50
Jill B. Adair, "A Unique, Spiritual Experience," Church News [Saturday, 2 April 1994].
"Seven New Missions Created," (Arizona Tucson Mission created from part of Arizona Tempe Mission) Church News [Saturday, 27 January 1990].
Lorraine Jeffrey, “Vera Hilton: Perennial Bloomer,” Ensign, Apr. 1989, 68
"New Mission Presidents," (former missionary Eric Michael Jackson called as mission president California San Jose Mission) Church News [Saturday, 5 April 2008].
"New Mission Presidents," (former missionary Richard Lee Bracha called as mission president Oklahoma Oklahoma City Mission) Church News [Saturday, 13 March 2004].
Cheri Earl, “Mesa Pageant: Getting into the Act,” New Era, Mar 2003, 20
Amy L. Parker Mangelson, "Missionary Moments: The Best Mistake," Church News [Saturday, 20 July 2002].
Jill B. Adair, "Bringing Others to Christ," Church News [Saturday, 30 March 2002].
"Stake Alignment in Newly Organized Missions," Church News [Saturday, 16 March 2002].
Shaun D. Stahle, "Seven New Missions Created," (Arizona Mesa Mission created from part of Arizona Tempe Mission) Church News [Saturday, 9 March 2002].
“We’ve Got Mail,” (Joshua Lindsay) New Era, Oct 2001, 50
"Death--Ernest J. Whiting Jr." (counselor mission presidency former mission president Oklahoma Tulsa Mission) Church News [28 October 2000].
"Visitors Center, Historic Site Directors Called," (former mission counselor and former New York Rochester Mission president Dale R. Shumway called as president Arizona Temple Visitors Center) Church News [Saturday, 17 January 1998].
"Milestones of Togetherness--LaVern and Ina Wilcox," Church News [Saturday, 29 June 1996].
“Thousands Watch Church Satellite Broadcast,” Ensign, May 1995, 109
Morag Edge, “Feedback--Fasting Is Taught,” (former sister missionary) New Era, Nov 1994, 50
Jill B. Adair, "A Unique, Spiritual Experience," Church News [Saturday, 2 April 1994].
"With plenty of practice, Tuifua continues to tackle key decisions," (former missionary David Tuifua) Church News [Saturday, 28 November 1992].
“Church to Open Seven New Missions in U.S.,” (Arizona Tucson created from part of Arizona Tempe Mission) Ensign, Apr. 1990, 74"Seven New Missions Created," (Arizona Tucson Mission created from part of Arizona Tempe Mission) Church News [Saturday, 27 January 1990].
Lorraine Jeffrey, “Vera Hilton: Perennial Bloomer,” Ensign, Apr. 1989, 68
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Plan of Salvation As A Missionary Conversation Opener
There are dozens if not hundreds of missionaries that use the Plan of Salvation as a conversation starter. When I was on a mission in Italy we used to have 3' x 4' foot displays of the Plan of Salvation as well as a huge picture of Lehi Going to America. I found out that missionaries today like to draw on sidewalks and many of them do chalk drawings. They like to use pastel chalks and it attracts people's attention when an elder or sister starts drawing on the surface of sidewalks and streets the world over. My two daughters used the technique in the Korea Daejon Mission and the Italy Rome Mission. When my kids do it at home on the driveway it is kind of maddening but eventually it rubs off. I wonder in an eco-friendly world if it would be considered graffiti in some places and punishable by a fine. When we used displays we would carry them with us so there was no mess to fuss with. I wonder if the mission president would bail out any missionaries fined or jailed? My mission president as a badge of honor said he was arrested a couple of times in England for street preaching. I guess it would be a colorful story to later tell missionaries when you are a mission president that you spent the night in the slammer. I am sure that mostly no one cares if missionaries draw on sidewalks since people who walk on them will rub it off quickly.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Recognizing a Culture of Sister Missionaries: Who Are the Greatest Sisters of All Times?
Today in the car as I was driving to work I was thinking about topics for today post. I keep going back to a poll I tried to conduct on the Greatest LDS Missionary of All Times in which only nine people responded on who was the greatest missionary of the twentieth century. I had not included one single sister missionary which was a serious omission on my part. In Mormon culture young women are not encouraged to serve but still there have been tens of thousands which represents a significant segment of the membership. My exclusion was a sad commentary on my part rather than on the selfless service of sister missionaries who have been serving since the nineteenth century. There are varying accounts of who the official first sisters were.
Ardis Parshall sets the date as early as 1852 when Joahanna Tippett Porter and her mother trek the Isle of Wright. J. Stapley points out in various places that mission presidents wives did missionary work. Lucy Woodruff Smith had an official calling as a sister missionary to serve in the mission office of the Southern States mission in 1892. The first official missionaries according to some scholars that were sanctioned from the church leadership with official callings and certified proselyting sister missionaries were Amanda Inez Knight and Lucy Jane Brimhall to the British Mission.
Maxine Hanks in Women and Authority (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1992) identifies the first official sister missionary as Harriet Horspool Nye, wife of mission president Ephraim Nye California Misssion from 1896 until 1901. President Gordon B. Hinckley dedicated a building in Sister Nye's honor in June 1994 at the Provo MTC. Hanks wrote about the issue:
A study of LDS policy was made by Tania Rands Lyon and Mary Ann Shumway McFarland Not Invited, But Welcome: The History and Impact of Church Policy on Sister Missionaries in Dialogue who claim it is a daunting subject hard to study as they explore church policy about the matter. Jessie Embry in the 1990s conducted 100 interviews of sister missionaries to make sense of their history and achievements as their foundation in her earlier Journal of Mormon History Spring 1997 piece "LDS Sister Missionaries: An Oral History Response, 1910-71."
The Church might one day want to rethink its present course since a mission makes a young woman a more attractive partner and if they reversed it more could serve than marry. Another thing that strikes me is that except for the early apostles serving we haven't even developed a culture of identifying exceptional elders who serve let alone sisters. We occasionally have a story of a star quarterback or basketball player or musical talent or missionary that served someone's life going but we never hear about a sister or elder that served generally. The Improvement Era and Elder's Journal used to give a paragraph or two that let us know the activities. This actually was a form of inculcation from about 1900 until the 1950s. The last few years the LDS News Room has been doing a few general pieces but it is limited in its readership and influence.
Back to the sister missionaries. If we could identify ten sister missionaries that were the greatest of all times what would be the things that we would measure. Would we look at the number of people they baptized, the positions they held, the conditions where they served? Would they be people who went on to success like Mary Ellen Edmunds as a speaker or writer. If I were doing a poll I would add her for name recognition and the fact she worked in the missionary field on a few occasions. Should there be a mission presidents' wife hall of fame too. They probably deserve recognition. This is just a few thoughts to get us started.
I don't feel that we have recognized the achievement of sister missionaries as openly as we should. Two studies in thirty years doesn't get at legitimizing their contributions and even understanding their accomplishments. I hope that Sarah Jensen will pick up the torch for sister missionaries as Jessie Embry did earlier on oral history and that she will begin compiling written accounts of their contributions through oral history and writing and publish books and articles. There is probably a good dissertation or two in the study of sister missionaries. We are losing a valuable part of our history by not knowing sister missionaries contributions. Much too little is made of their accomplishments. I feel that the Segullah writers need to step up to the plate and raise our awareness of the importance of sister missionaries to the overall LDS missionary cause.
Former sister missionaries have much to teach the thousands of future missionaries to come. Silence doesn't help the thousands of sister missionaries who come to my blog and other places to read about tips for sister missionaries and get a general idea of what they will be doing. Not publishing stories about sister missionaries in my mind has more negative results than positive. I find that sister missionaries are desperate to know what they are doing and to have role models to make their transition easier. Cute articles in the New Era and the Ensign have a place but we need to develop a richer cultural identity for celebrating and understanding the accomplishments of sister missionries. Their story is one that in my opinion needs to be told more.
Ardis Parshall sets the date as early as 1852 when Joahanna Tippett Porter and her mother trek the Isle of Wright. J. Stapley points out in various places that mission presidents wives did missionary work. Lucy Woodruff Smith had an official calling as a sister missionary to serve in the mission office of the Southern States mission in 1892. The first official missionaries according to some scholars that were sanctioned from the church leadership with official callings and certified proselyting sister missionaries were Amanda Inez Knight and Lucy Jane Brimhall to the British Mission.
Maxine Hanks in Women and Authority (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1992) identifies the first official sister missionary as Harriet Horspool Nye, wife of mission president Ephraim Nye California Misssion from 1896 until 1901. President Gordon B. Hinckley dedicated a building in Sister Nye's honor in June 1994 at the Provo MTC. Hanks wrote about the issue:
The first known missionary certification of women came as a response to requests made in 1897 and 1898 by mission president Joseph McMurrin, who requested sister missionaries because “Our sisters gained attention in England where the elders could scarcely gain a hearing.”15 In April 1898 George Q. Cannon announced that “It has been decided to call some of our wise and prudent women in the missionary field. . . . [G]reat good could be accomplished by the sisters in that direction.”16
Certifying sisters created a shift in church policy. Prior to 1898 the church did not specifically invite women to serve proselyting missions; women served for circumstantial or voluntary reasons. With certification women were formally invited or called to regular full-time missions.
I wondered if we really have been giving sister missionaries the recognition that they deserve. Calvin Kuntz attempted it in his BYU history master's thesis in 1979. I recently encountered an article by Sarah Jensen in Segullah Journal entitled “Women Proclaiming the Gospel on Missions: An Historical Overview.” She sets the earliest woman officially set apart for missionary work in 1850 when Louisa Barnes Pratt accompanied her husband Addison to the Society Island. She also says Lucy Mack Smith and Emma Smith had gone out to visit people in the 1830s. In 1865 thirteen women were set apart for home missionary service (See Maxine Hanks, Women and Authority: Re-Emerging Mormon Feminism [Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1989], 318). She also settles on sisters being endorsed officially as Sister Knight and Sister Brimhall saying they did the same thing from that point forward as young missionary elders. An interesting note is that in the 1940s sister did not serve until 23 to give them ample chance to marriage it wasn't until January 1953 that the age was set to 21 for some sisters and institutionalized in 1964 to the current age. Sisters originally served for two years but that was cut to eighteen months in 1971. Another interesting detail is that mission presidents sons or daughters can serve as early as eighteen or nineteen.The first woman certified to serve a proselyting mission was Harriet Nye, wife of the California mission president. Amanda Inez Knight and Lucy Jane Brimhall were the first single proselyting sisters and served under McMurrin in England. Some of the elders “openly questioned whether or not the sisters callings were equal to their own”; but “the presidency of the mission made it very clear that the same authority which called the men on their missions also called the women.”17 Knight remembered that “We attended Priesthood meeting at which I was the only girl. I felt more conspicuous by the elders beginning their remarks, `My brethren and sister.'” She served for twenty-five months.18
In 1901 President Francis M. Lyman returned from the European Mission and “in all soberness declared `that the lady missionary is no longer an experiment, but an unqualified success. In the dawn of the twentieth century this fact has been demonstrated to the world. What will the future hold?” In 1921 Apostle David O. McKay noted, “Almost without exception, the women whom we have met in their `fields of labor' have proved to be not only equal but superior to the men in ability, keen insight and energetic service.” In 1928 Apostle Richard R. Lyman reported that another mission president had requested him “to send more young women into the mission field.”
A study of LDS policy was made by Tania Rands Lyon and Mary Ann Shumway McFarland Not Invited, But Welcome: The History and Impact of Church Policy on Sister Missionaries in Dialogue who claim it is a daunting subject hard to study as they explore church policy about the matter. Jessie Embry in the 1990s conducted 100 interviews of sister missionaries to make sense of their history and achievements as their foundation in her earlier Journal of Mormon History Spring 1997 piece "LDS Sister Missionaries: An Oral History Response, 1910-71."
The Church might one day want to rethink its present course since a mission makes a young woman a more attractive partner and if they reversed it more could serve than marry. Another thing that strikes me is that except for the early apostles serving we haven't even developed a culture of identifying exceptional elders who serve let alone sisters. We occasionally have a story of a star quarterback or basketball player or musical talent or missionary that served someone's life going but we never hear about a sister or elder that served generally. The Improvement Era and Elder's Journal used to give a paragraph or two that let us know the activities. This actually was a form of inculcation from about 1900 until the 1950s. The last few years the LDS News Room has been doing a few general pieces but it is limited in its readership and influence.
Back to the sister missionaries. If we could identify ten sister missionaries that were the greatest of all times what would be the things that we would measure. Would we look at the number of people they baptized, the positions they held, the conditions where they served? Would they be people who went on to success like Mary Ellen Edmunds as a speaker or writer. If I were doing a poll I would add her for name recognition and the fact she worked in the missionary field on a few occasions. Should there be a mission presidents' wife hall of fame too. They probably deserve recognition. This is just a few thoughts to get us started.
I don't feel that we have recognized the achievement of sister missionaries as openly as we should. Two studies in thirty years doesn't get at legitimizing their contributions and even understanding their accomplishments. I hope that Sarah Jensen will pick up the torch for sister missionaries as Jessie Embry did earlier on oral history and that she will begin compiling written accounts of their contributions through oral history and writing and publish books and articles. There is probably a good dissertation or two in the study of sister missionaries. We are losing a valuable part of our history by not knowing sister missionaries contributions. Much too little is made of their accomplishments. I feel that the Segullah writers need to step up to the plate and raise our awareness of the importance of sister missionaries to the overall LDS missionary cause.
Former sister missionaries have much to teach the thousands of future missionaries to come. Silence doesn't help the thousands of sister missionaries who come to my blog and other places to read about tips for sister missionaries and get a general idea of what they will be doing. Not publishing stories about sister missionaries in my mind has more negative results than positive. I find that sister missionaries are desperate to know what they are doing and to have role models to make their transition easier. Cute articles in the New Era and the Ensign have a place but we need to develop a richer cultural identity for celebrating and understanding the accomplishments of sister missionries. Their story is one that in my opinion needs to be told more.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Last Man Standing: Lessons Learned about Never Leaving Your Companion
My mission president M. Russell Ballard often said that the Church must be true or the missionaries would have destroyed years ago. Yesterday I entered in to a discussion with a man who spoke to me of the cultural practices in Italy. I have not often reflected on the five months I spent on my mission in Italy. I am sure that my perception of what happened may be flawed but it is my best recollection. I was called to the Italy Rome Mission in September 1975 and subsequently transferred to Canada Toronto Mission at the end of March 1976. I usually repress any reflection on my time there because it was a very traumatic experience and one that scarred me for life. I have for the most part repressed it.
Last night I fell asleep and woke up resolved to tell this story even though I know it will not reflect well on me. I even came up with the title and most of what I am sharing. It keeps repeateding itself in my mind. In fact I know I am culpable in everything that happened. I admit I failed my companion and I failed myself. I knew what was about to befall him and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I am not sure anyone I mention would think they did anything wrong. They probably don't know I feel this way or would dismiss me as being unstable. I am sure they have all gone through their lives feeling they were exceptional Latter-day Saints. In fact I read about one of them who volunteers at the MTC not to long ago. I guess I don't want to judge them since honestly we were young and immature thirty years ago and people do change. I am sure they have all done tremendous things since their missions. I just have to tell this story because if some missionary reads it maybe it will help them save a companion. It won't exulpate what I did or didn't do but maybe it will save them from the psychic pain I experienced in the loss of a companion and friend.
I feel there are a lot of lessons that can be learned by my sharing my experiences in Ragusa, Sicily that can help future and former missionaries rethink some of the things they do and say while serving a mission. I can honestly say that I prefer to associate with people who are sweetening Polyana kind of Mormons. There are a few Saints that genuinely see the good in others even if they are few and far between. I on the other hand am a flawed and imperfect person. My mission president once prophesied to me that my mission would be a type of the rest of my life to come. I either have been practicing a form of self-fulfillment or he was correct since every problem I encountered then whether involving relationship problems or obedience issues have replayed themselves in my life. I like to think that I am a functioning member of LDS society because I have overcome them but as to being psychologically sound that is debatable depending on your perspective. Sometimes people don't like what I have to say which makes for an interesting time. My intention in blogging is one as a form of self-therapy and two as a historical record. I have a tendency to self-disclose about the good, the bad, and sometimes even the ugly. Today's post will reflect that. I am going to give a caveat that you should not read any further since what I am about the share might disturb more faith-promoting types. You are reading it at your own peril. Nothing I say is actionable in a court of law and the events are factual. The only thing subjective is the interpretation of what happened not that it happened.
I was born and raised a practicing Roman Catholic as a child so I knew a great deal about the Italian culture. I went to a Church where a Monseigneur was our spiritual guide. He was born in Italy and had worked in the Vatican and had a holy ring we were expected to kiss in respect of his high status. Our church was very ornate and filled with 14 ct. gold leaf with a spectacular altar that must have cost those poor immigrants tens of thousands of dollars. A local car dealer gave him a black Lincoln Continental to drive. Just like Mormons go to nursery and primary from the age of three I went to Catechism which I did every Saturday until I was nine years old. Our priest was a die-hard Notre Dame fan and we watched movies every week of our team. It was the best part of the morning which lasted from eight until around eleven a.m.
By the time I was five I made my first communion and by the age of eight I was confirmed. LaSalle, Illinois was a predominately Italian, Polish, and Irish community with a few Poles mixed in. Every few blocks was a Catholic Church and we even had five or six Protestant churches but Catholicism dominated with at least ten churches. We all went to church every Sunday. We had a couple of Catholic schools including St. Patrick's which was on the corner across the street from our Church. My father was a truck driver so we couldn't afford to go there but a lot of the kids I went to church with did. By the time I was ten I was an altar boy and helped out at a funeral, baptism etc. I would ring the bell during mass once when he genuflected and three times when the priest raised the chalice in which I would pour the sacramental wine. I had to get up at 4a.m. to be there by the 5 a.m. mass which was said in Latin.
I learned from an early age the hypocrisy of my religion. My grandmother was a real busy body and knew the business of everyone in town. She lived across the street from the kindergarten teacher who was single and lived with her elderly mother. My grandmother would out the priest to my parents and I was privy to hearing what she said since she didn't think it would register in our young minds. By the time I was in fifth grade I used to see his car parked in front of the woman's house early in the morning before eight o'clock on days he wasn't saying the mass. Shortly before eight he would be gone.
This experience helped prepare me later when I discovered my own father was a womanizer and practiced unsavory things from drinking to gambling to adultery. My mother who had been a Protestant had converted to Catholicism before she married my father. Her family were Bible fearing people who watched Oral Roberts, Billy Graham, and Kathryn Kuhlman every Sunday night. My grandmother would either read the Bible or listen to it on 78 records. The closets were filled with Bibles. She had nine living children out of eleven and every Sunday night we went and visited. My father never felt comfortable and would drop us off then return four hours later. This was usually due to the fact that he had been drunk and had beaten my mother up in a fight when she would tell him to quit. Luckily or unluckily depending on your perspective he nearly died in his thirties. He had to be hospitalized because he would drink himself in to a stupor and had to be detoxed at the V.A. hospital. He later had lung cancer and had part of his lung cut out by 38. Needless to say he had some challenging problems. I learned from his negative behavior.
At 12 we moved to Las Vegas so my father could work legally at gambling. During the day he was a boxman on a crap table and during the night he played poker at the Union Plaza. We didn't go to Church much from that time until I joined the Church. I guess my father didn't feel comfortable since he was hanging out with some bad people including former Mafia types. When I was seventeen I had an unfortunate love affair with a girl. I turned to the Church for spiritual guidance since I was so depressed. The priest said even though my sister was active that he didn't know me and my father well enough so he wasn't interested in helping me. It turned me off to the Catholic Church that I wasn't worth their time even to talk with.
I had a friend in high school that I was close with that was a quasi-Mormon. He smoked a pack a day and chased girls with me with a couple of other guys one who was supposedly a good Mormon. He gave me a Book of Mormon that I tossed in a drawer. My friend and his family moved to Des Plaines right after we graduated. I was supposed to go to Fort Knox for howitzer training prior to attending Roswell Military Academy but I went with my friend back to Illinois for a couple of weeks. I came back to Vegas and went to a football game with the supposedly good Mormon and met the girl who I kissed in front of 12,000 fans. My brashness appealed to her but unfortunately she was messing around with three other guys. My brother-in-law knew her boyfriend who I had played with on the high school soccer team. The guy would give him a play by play description when he would pick her up after I dropped her off at night around eight or nine p.m. She was a screwed up mess. Her mother had gotten pregnant with her at fifteen and had four children before 30 with three different men. She was also a radical feminist who was president of the N.O.W. in Las Vegas and marched for woman's right to abortion. Her rationale was that she didn't want her daughter or other woman to go through what she had. Needless to say she was not successful as both her daughters had trouble. Her youngest daughter was married by fifteen and my girlfriend was married three times by 25. When I last saw her in 1977 she was married to a 45 year old pharmacist and had a German shepherd dog since she was unable to have children which she desperately wanted and he was her substitute.
I joined the Church after reading the Book of Mormon and gaining a testimony. I knew much about Catholics since as an Italian American my two sisters were married to Catholics. My oldest sister was a charsmatic Catholic and became so fanatical that she was a Carmelite that tithed ten percent of her personal income. I had a poor baptismal interview which didn't go in to any details of my brief life which included messing around with my girlfriend. Since I felt I had repented and was washed clean I went on a mission one year after I joined the Church. I had limited exposure to the Church and any thing I learned was what I heard in a nine month period every Sunday. I never went to seminary, primary, or mutual. I attended a few young adult activities and read the scriptures from cover to cover four times. There were a lot of things not contained in the scriptures or discussed that I needed to know.
I finally went to the LTM in September 1975. I had no clue whatsoever about what was expected or even what missionaries did other than teaching the discussions. I had a limited exposure to the missionaries having taken all seven discussions in two days. They never talked with me again after I was baptized. In fact they had trouble with my brash personality and one argued with another whether to even baptize me. I had requested baptism on my own a few weeks after they were done teaching me. I wasn't invited to any mormons house for dinner. Mothers didn't exactly welcome me with open arms. I made a few friends of guys from high school in the young adult group. I went to the local community college and took a few business classes.
I gave a farewell talk in church. I didn't have much money so my elder's quorum was supposed to help me when my money ran out which it did a couple months in to my mission. I went to Utah with one of the guys whose family took me through the Salt Lake Temple. My friend's parents were divorced but his mother had remarried and lived in Santaquin. I was even ordained to be an elder in a funny way. I was sustained in Las Vegas but set apart by Don S. Robertson in Spanish Fork since I was in Utah taking out my endowments. I went in the mission home on the same day as my friend so he gave me a ride up to Salt Lake City in his Dodge Charger. He drove over 100 miles per hour. I am surprised we didn't die since we missed a flatbed by inches.
I learned everything I know from listening to a few speakers the nine weeks I was in the LTM about missionary work. My companion in the LTM was a starting college quarterback who also had an Italian American name. He was slick and very polished. His sister went to the Y. He was very appealing to young women. I knew this because he was around 6 feet tall with blond hair and brown eyes. He looked like a body builder. He was a humble guy who prayed hard and studied hard. After a month I began to get worried as he began to express doubts about his mission. We lived in Allen Hall and our bedroom windows looked right in to the Elms Apartment. We couldn't escape the young women next door who almost never closed their curtains. One day he came in and told me he was going home that he had transgressed with his girl friend back home and needed to clear it up before he could go. I don't know if he ever went again on his mission. It was a great blow to me since I really loved the guy and thought he would make a great leader some day.
I wasn't given any new companion so I spent the next few weeks alone in my room studying and struggling with Italian. It was a bear to learn but I almost mastered the baptismal challenge and I could say a few basic phrases. I remember everyone of us had inadequacies with the language and the lessons. We all supported one another the best we could. I could tell that it was a competive thing as elders jockeyed from the very beginning to be district leader in the LTM. The guys in my group were aggressive and cocky. They talked a bunch of crap to each other believing they were destined for greatness. I was just as cocky I had prayed to the Lord that I would be like Wilford Woodruff or John Taylor and would baptize thousands. I even had an experience of seeing the second coming during the time I was in the LTM.
Soon we boarded a plane for Italy which lasted for hours. One elder hit on the stewardess as he tried teaching her the gospel. He was also a Catholic convert who reminded me of guys I knew growing up in Illinois. Even though he was an odd duck I raised my appraisal of him.
When we got to Rome we were taken to meet our mission president Leopoldo Larcher. He wasn't much older than us being around 30. He had a young wife and three little children. I was told he had joined the church about three years before. He immediately bonded with me since he knew I was of Italian descent also. He went on about how we would do a great work together among our people. He had a lot of passion but I could tell he wasn't overly experienced but I didn't mind since we had that in common also. I was impressed by his charismatic good looks and attitude. He told me that he intended for me to be trained by the best missionary in the field and that I would return to Rome as his mission assistant. He also told me I could serve in the Palermo area near Altofonte Parco where my grandfather came from so I could do some family history. I was really flabbergasted because he really was sincere about his promises. He told me I was to serve with Giorgio D. P. He told me Elder D. P. was from his home area and that he was an extraordinary elder who had baptized many people and was the top elder in the mission and that I was to be trained by the best elder in the mission. He was sending me in to Ragusa which had been opened only a few weeks previous. Elder D. P. would teach me everything I needed to know but he didn't speak a word of English but I would master Italian and have a successful mission.
I took a train that traveled the length of Italy from Rome to Brindisi and then was placed on a ferry and finally arrived in Catania. A couple elders got off in other places on route but Ragusa was the farthest south in the mission. I was met by Elders R. H. and Elder F. the zone leaders at Catania. I was driven down to Ragusa by car where I met my district which had six elders. The six elders lived at Via Giovanni Meli 1/11 which was an apartment building on the point of a bridge. We literally had a breathtaking view of a valley and then the red/blue light district of the town across the bridge.
My district was comprised of Elder F. and his companion Elder B., Elder Q. and his companion Elder S., and Elder D.P. and me. Elder F. told me how Elder D.P. had opened another city Siracusa. There he had stood on a stool and with a loud speaker called the people to repentance. He had baptized about twenty people and there was a strong branch there now. D.P. had been the branch president there and sent to new cities to build them up. He was now in Ragusa to get the city started.
When I first got there we rented a storefront where we held church and then eventually we held services at our apartment. We had a temporary font that we filled with kettles of water and I witnessed four baptism during the five months I was there.
Elder F. was a nice likeable guy as was his companion Elder B. Elder Q was a strange fellow who had a quirky sense of humor and was a highly competive guy. He and his companion had a hard time competing with Elder D.P. who was the top missionary in the entire mission. F. was more level-headed and was training a greenie but he was due shortly to go home. D.P. was everything I was told and then some. He taught more discussions than any other missionary, placed more Book of Mormons and baptized on a regular basis. He was number one in every statistic and was awesome in all respects including looks and personality. He was a missionaries missionary. The mission president put out a weekly newsletter that showed the top twenty companionships. I was shown a few previous issues with D.P. clearly number one by a large margin for as long as he was a missionary. The missionaries both respected and were jealous of D.P. They openly competed with him with Elders doing everything possible to be number one. D.P. wasn't even consciously aware of the effect he had on others he was just a natural and successful at whatever he put his hand.
D.P. was oblivious to their feelings. He was this likeable good looking sophisticated Italian convert. His father owned a large and famous shoe company for women. His sister and family sent him thousands of lire every few weeks. He was even more charismatic than Leopoldo Larcher. There wasn't anyone that didn't love him in Ragusa or in the mission. He knew enough to never rock the boat and still outperform others. His nonawareness actually might have been his downfall since it appeared he was just a blessed person.
Young adults and adults would invite him to their homes for his social conversation and presence. When we street tracted large crowds would gather. Priests would buy twenty Book of Mormons in a casual conversation on the street. We would go in to municipal buildings and meet with dignitaries who put dozens of Book of Mormons in the local libraries and schools. We had appointments from morning until evening. People beg us to eat with them and be their guests. Even during the afternoon naps we were invited in even when we tried not to impose. Vendors gave him great deals and would want him to meet their daughters which he usually brushed off. I heard them offer their daughters to him in marriage which he declined tactfully and gracefully.
Soon I was caught up in the success of Elder D.P. Every week it was D.P./B. topping the mission. I passed off my baptismal challenge easily. I learned the language rapidly since he really couldn't speak a word of English. We baptized three people in a matter of three months which was unheard of in Italy. I even passed off one of the discussions.
Elder F. was at the end of his mission and was soon on his way home. He was replaced by Elder N. who had been in Sardegna. Elder F. was kind of a kick back guy that got along with most of us. Noble was an intense guy that liked to come off as a hard guy. He didn't brook any conversation it was his way or the highway. He let you know he was in charge.
I began to sense not all was right with our district and that there was some rivalry going between N, Q, S, and Elder D.P. F. let D.P. do his own thing but N. tried to oversee him. Q. couldn't outdo D.P. so he concentrated on taking me down by ridiculing me. One day he was bragging and laughing how he and S. would come home by way of the blue light district. I told them that I had heard S. Dilworth Young's talk and that they should go around. He told us how the women would offer them their services and it was funny. D.P. never walked through that area because we were told by our mission president to avoid such places. We would pray every morning as a district before we would go out. Q. and S. began to hit me on the back of the head during the prayer. Q. would laugh and say do you feel the spirit Elder. One time they with F. held me down and try to force pudding in my mouth saying there was alcohol in it. I knew there was no pudding but I would be darned if I would let them man handle me. It took all five of them to fight me to the floor. I never let them shove the spoon in my mouth. It ticked them off that I couldn't be broken.
Later when N. came in he was tight with D.Q. who portrayed me as not being one of the guys. One day N. called me in to his room. He told me that I was a wicked and slothful servant and that I had to be commanded in all things. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about since I was working sixty hours a week and was in the top companionship in the mission. I even walked so much I wore a hole three inches deep in the back of my right foot which bleed and scabbed over. I told him I didn't have a clue what he meant but I began to pass off my discussions quicker and got another one done since passing my Star Chart was the only thing between me and a senior companionship.
A few weeks later N. became really angry with me when an investigator who was physically deformed asked for us to heal him. D.P. didn't know what to do since the young man was well-known in the city and had lots of university friends. He took the discussions and came to Church. I didn't think his desire to be healed was unreasonable. The Spirit told me that I could heal him if he would fast and pray. I told him if he had the faith to believe that I would lay my hands on his head and he would be healed. D.P. talked to N. about it. We arranged a time for the blessing. N. called me in and told me he wouldn't let me jeopardize the work in Ragusa if I failed and no way would he let me give the guy a blessing. I knew the young man would reject the gospel and told him we would lose him and his friends as investigators but N. told me that was too bad and he was in charge. I shut up since I was an obedient type. D.P. told me he believed I could heal the guy but N. was the district leader and we had to do what he said since we were just getting started.
I began to worry about Elder D.P. who started receiving letters from a young woman from Siracusa. He was very enamored of her and started writing her regularly. He suggested he might marry her after his mission. I told him to lock his heart having read Spencer W. Kimball's talk when I was in the MTC. I figured since she was in another city several kilometers away he would be safe.
D.P. was a very generous and loving kind of guy. I could see that women were very attracted to him as they would via for him to notice him. He didn't succumb to it but usually would find a way to teach them. I never saw him act improper in the presence of a woman.
He got some money around Christmas time and offered to buy me anything I wanted. I was joking one day and told him since he was a millionaire that one day when he ran the factory I would like him to buy me a Lamborghini. I told him I would settle for a children's book with pictures of Italian objects. He threw in a couple of Scrooge McDuck books to help me learn Italian. He promised to buy me the car when he ran the factory. I didn't have a coat and my quorum stopped sending me my $160 so D.P. carried me between checks and literally gave me the coat off his back.
The friction in our district started getting worse as I could tell no matter how hard the other elders tried to top D.P. as the top elder no one could. As long as D.P. was left alone he would always be the top elder unless something happened to him. Then a very bad thing did happened. The young woman that was writing D.P. decided to come and visit him. When I heard this from D.P. I told the district leader about it who told me not to worry. They would protect D.P. if she did show up. One Sunday she showed up with three other young adults--a girl and two guys.
When they knocked on the door the district leader said to the elder answering to let them in. I would have never let them in for any reason knowing she was there for Elder D.P. I wouldn't let D.P. go anywhere without me even though he was hot to be with her. I walked around the apartment next to D.P. which drove him crazy. Eventually I had to go to the bathroom and asked the other elders to not let him be alone with her or leave the apartment without me. I knew he would be in trouble if he got alone with her.
Ten minutes later when I came out I couldn't find D.P. anywhere. I asked where he was and they lied to me telling me that he was with one of the other elders and would be back soon. He was just going down to her car to get something. The spirit told me they were lying since he didn't show up after five minutes. I walked around the apartment and saw all the elders and the girls' friends who were having a good time talking. D.P. was nowhere to be found. He disappeared until late that evening with the girl. I knew that he was out making out with her. He came back and apologized to me and told me how much he was in love with the girl and he couldn't help himself. He even told me he knew he would be in trouble with the President and would probably be transferred.
N. turned him in as he should and he received an emergency transfer. D.P. was sent out as a branch president and later got in trouble messing with the same girl who followed him around. The truth was they should have sent him to Canada instead of me or as far away from her as they could.
I became companions with Elder S. who was promoted to a senior companion. The interesting thing was that S. and I became the top elders in the mission after D.P. left so he got his wish for a week or two. S. got some bad karma as he began suffering stomach problems. It turned out he had a duodenoum ulcer from the stress of trying to be the top elder. The doctors told him that he might have to go home unless he took an injection in the side of his buttocks every day for a month and slow down a little. He was a wimp and didn't want to inject himself and he didn't trust me to do it. He had Sister Loretta who was married and a new convert in her 40s stick him in his behind every day. You talk about humbling. I came to appreciate S. later at the Y when he was working on his business degree I would even talk to him from time to time. When he was removed from the mission he was a half-way decent guy. I suspect he is a millionarie today.
I have to say that my mission was ruined after D.P. was transferred. S. couldn't protect me from Q nor N who whether out of guilt or just dislike were downright hostile to me. N rubbed in my letter to Larcher which I knew he would. He felt it validated his treatment. I really was angry with them for letting D.P. run off with the girl and for riding my tail when I was being a straight arrow missionary. I knew that letting D.P. out with her was a way of taking him down for good. I am just not sure they did it consciously or unconsciously. I do know they were stupid when they let him leave with the girl. What did they think was going to happen. They knew he wasn't suppose to leave his companion even for one second. I wrote Larcher and told him about the D.P. situation which did not make N too happy since I cast him in a bad light.
A few weeks later as I got farther in my mission and could understand the language even better, I discovered from teaching the law of chastity that I had not fully resolved everything before I joined the church. I knew that if I confessed I would minimum get transferred away from Q and N. At that point I downright would do anything to leave them and knew it would affect me for the rest of my life what happened to D.P. Sure enough the mission president made me write my bishop and stake president, my parents and former non-mormon girlfriend. The latter two thought I was whacked out of my brain and laughed about it. Soon I went to Catania where I remained for a few weeks then I went up to Rome and put on a plane for Toronto where I served the remaining fifteen months. As I left the airport Larcher lamented how sad it was that I was being transferred since I was going to be one of his assistants if I had stayed I would have been a credit to all Italians. I said to myself if you wanted me so bad you would not have had me transferred. You could have told the Missionary Committee what Ballard later told me which was you repented before you joined the church and it was washed clean at baptism.
When I got to Canada and told my story to Ballard, he told me that he thought everyone had overreacted and mishandled my situation that this was all water under the bridge and to move on. He said he would have never had me transferred and that he thought my mission president's inexperience contributed to my being with him but now that I was there to make the best of the experience. At least now my elder's quorum would have to pay the money every month to keep me on a mission since he and my stake president had been companions on their missions in England.
As I look back on the matter I don't blame Larcher since all the players in the story kept him uninformed for their own reasons. It would have been nice if we had really sat down and had a conversation about this but it just never worked out that we did. I was never treated in Canada as a productive elder but was always told by the other missionaries I was a problem elder as they would speculate why I was transferred. I was told by them all kinds of wild stories from immoralilty to fighting with companions etc. I kept my mouth shut at the time because President Ballard told me to. I was always under a cloud that I might be sent home unworthily because of my inauspicious transfer.
I had an interesting genealogy experience. When I was in Catania I ran across a guy named Gesualdo Toscano who I paid $400 to do my genealogy. He was supposed to take both my Bruno line and Gaita line back four generations. He later had some psychological problems and I was told he had professional help. He kept insisting I didn't pay him. Lucky for me I had a receipt from the Royal Bank of Canada showing he had cashed my money order. He did a good job on the Bruno line but he didn't follow up on the Gaita line. Till this day I have not been able to crack open that line. Larcher bugged me on my mission to pay Toscano again but I refused since I didn't have any money. I had to have Elder Ballard get him off my back. I also returned the cool yellow jacket to D.P. who had loaned it to me in Ragusa. I think he got it back after his mission. I never heard from D.P. ever again nor have I seen my Lamborghini. I would trade the car if I knew he came back to the Church. I have tried for years to find someone that knows what happened to him but no one does.
Even though D.P. is not blameless in that he messed around and was eventually excommunicated he might have been better protected by his companions. I got what I deserved if I had been less arrogant things might have been different. I got caught up in doing the work at the cost of getting along with my colleagues. I did what I thought was right at the time but I might have been a little less narrow-minded. I learned a few things in human relations that sometimes being right doesn't endear you to everyone. I can definitely say D.P. could have been protected from himself if our district had been more vigilant. They knew when they let him out the door without someone to accompany him what would probably happen. Maybe he would have gone down in a different way but I would have preferred it be on someone else's watch not when I was assigned as his companion. I sure didn't expect to be lied to by missionaries who should have known better.
I will always remember S. Dilworth Young telling us to watch out for our friends so we could smell our roses in December and how he let an LDS buddy go in to a prostitute when he could have spoken out. I have always lived my life as my brother's keeper so I wouldn't have that kind of guilt but still despite my best efforts I failed. I feel it better to be offensive and err on the side of being judgmental than to have your fellow missionary's blood on your skirt. There is nothing sadder than seeing a fellow missionary go home in disgrace when you could have changed the outcome. Elder Ballard drummed that in to my head and its definitely one of my core values that there is accountability. I would rather take the beating in this life than face the Savior at the judgment seat. I have even turned myself in if I feel I have done something against the Church. I have gotten better as the years go by of giving the person a chance to do the right thing before speaking up. I have insisted in my own life a time or two that even I should be disciplined for minor infractions and my wife and children.
I learned some negative things and positive things that have helped me cope as a member of the Church from my mission. Even though I see the glass as half empty I realize that what happened in Ragusa made me a better person and was a learning experience. I would never have met Elder Ballard who shaped my life and put me in touch with general authorities whom I would later serve. I probably wouldn't be blogging today. I know that even when abused by those you should trust on your mission if you remain faithful you can still accomplish much in the kingdom. I know that people many times tread on each other not realizing that what they do can have lifelong consecquences. Sometimes they don't do it even consciously that is why it is so hard to know their motivations. We can still not be victims if we choose to move on and shaped our own destiny as Victor Frankl taught by his example in the Nazi concentration camp. A mission for the most part is a pretty safe environment in which to learn about relationship and still do some good.
I believe until this day we could have saved D.P. I also know if my district had been kinder and more gentle and obeyed the rules exactly I would have served all two years in Italy. I wouldn't have become so discouraged that I would have put myself in the position of being transferred by writing that letter to Larcher. I instinctively knew what I was doing would get me a transfer.
One redeeming thing for me was when they called my second daughter to my old mission. I am hopeful she might have found a few people I might have touched had I been allowed to stay. She had a very succesful mission and mastered the language. I will never know until the next life whether I taught everyone I was meant to in either place. People are not predictable and we should never assume they will always do the right thing for the right reasons. I am glad there is repentance so maybe in ten years when I go on a couple of more missions I will be a better missionary than last time. I know I will stay with my companion no matter what. It is better to be obedient than live a life where you are always asking forgiveness. I cringe today when I hear a missionary say you can't always get permission but you can always get forgiveness. I am not sure if they read my story they will realize it might take a lifetime to get over the consequences of a lapse in the rules.
I think every elder in the Ragusa District suffered the day that D.P. fell. As I reflect back I wonder if any of us were truly left standing. Let alone whether being number one was worth the price we paid thirty long years ago.
Last night I fell asleep and woke up resolved to tell this story even though I know it will not reflect well on me. I even came up with the title and most of what I am sharing. It keeps repeateding itself in my mind. In fact I know I am culpable in everything that happened. I admit I failed my companion and I failed myself. I knew what was about to befall him and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I am not sure anyone I mention would think they did anything wrong. They probably don't know I feel this way or would dismiss me as being unstable. I am sure they have all gone through their lives feeling they were exceptional Latter-day Saints. In fact I read about one of them who volunteers at the MTC not to long ago. I guess I don't want to judge them since honestly we were young and immature thirty years ago and people do change. I am sure they have all done tremendous things since their missions. I just have to tell this story because if some missionary reads it maybe it will help them save a companion. It won't exulpate what I did or didn't do but maybe it will save them from the psychic pain I experienced in the loss of a companion and friend.
I feel there are a lot of lessons that can be learned by my sharing my experiences in Ragusa, Sicily that can help future and former missionaries rethink some of the things they do and say while serving a mission. I can honestly say that I prefer to associate with people who are sweetening Polyana kind of Mormons. There are a few Saints that genuinely see the good in others even if they are few and far between. I on the other hand am a flawed and imperfect person. My mission president once prophesied to me that my mission would be a type of the rest of my life to come. I either have been practicing a form of self-fulfillment or he was correct since every problem I encountered then whether involving relationship problems or obedience issues have replayed themselves in my life. I like to think that I am a functioning member of LDS society because I have overcome them but as to being psychologically sound that is debatable depending on your perspective. Sometimes people don't like what I have to say which makes for an interesting time. My intention in blogging is one as a form of self-therapy and two as a historical record. I have a tendency to self-disclose about the good, the bad, and sometimes even the ugly. Today's post will reflect that. I am going to give a caveat that you should not read any further since what I am about the share might disturb more faith-promoting types. You are reading it at your own peril. Nothing I say is actionable in a court of law and the events are factual. The only thing subjective is the interpretation of what happened not that it happened.
I was born and raised a practicing Roman Catholic as a child so I knew a great deal about the Italian culture. I went to a Church where a Monseigneur was our spiritual guide. He was born in Italy and had worked in the Vatican and had a holy ring we were expected to kiss in respect of his high status. Our church was very ornate and filled with 14 ct. gold leaf with a spectacular altar that must have cost those poor immigrants tens of thousands of dollars. A local car dealer gave him a black Lincoln Continental to drive. Just like Mormons go to nursery and primary from the age of three I went to Catechism which I did every Saturday until I was nine years old. Our priest was a die-hard Notre Dame fan and we watched movies every week of our team. It was the best part of the morning which lasted from eight until around eleven a.m.
By the time I was five I made my first communion and by the age of eight I was confirmed. LaSalle, Illinois was a predominately Italian, Polish, and Irish community with a few Poles mixed in. Every few blocks was a Catholic Church and we even had five or six Protestant churches but Catholicism dominated with at least ten churches. We all went to church every Sunday. We had a couple of Catholic schools including St. Patrick's which was on the corner across the street from our Church. My father was a truck driver so we couldn't afford to go there but a lot of the kids I went to church with did. By the time I was ten I was an altar boy and helped out at a funeral, baptism etc. I would ring the bell during mass once when he genuflected and three times when the priest raised the chalice in which I would pour the sacramental wine. I had to get up at 4a.m. to be there by the 5 a.m. mass which was said in Latin.
I learned from an early age the hypocrisy of my religion. My grandmother was a real busy body and knew the business of everyone in town. She lived across the street from the kindergarten teacher who was single and lived with her elderly mother. My grandmother would out the priest to my parents and I was privy to hearing what she said since she didn't think it would register in our young minds. By the time I was in fifth grade I used to see his car parked in front of the woman's house early in the morning before eight o'clock on days he wasn't saying the mass. Shortly before eight he would be gone.
This experience helped prepare me later when I discovered my own father was a womanizer and practiced unsavory things from drinking to gambling to adultery. My mother who had been a Protestant had converted to Catholicism before she married my father. Her family were Bible fearing people who watched Oral Roberts, Billy Graham, and Kathryn Kuhlman every Sunday night. My grandmother would either read the Bible or listen to it on 78 records. The closets were filled with Bibles. She had nine living children out of eleven and every Sunday night we went and visited. My father never felt comfortable and would drop us off then return four hours later. This was usually due to the fact that he had been drunk and had beaten my mother up in a fight when she would tell him to quit. Luckily or unluckily depending on your perspective he nearly died in his thirties. He had to be hospitalized because he would drink himself in to a stupor and had to be detoxed at the V.A. hospital. He later had lung cancer and had part of his lung cut out by 38. Needless to say he had some challenging problems. I learned from his negative behavior.
At 12 we moved to Las Vegas so my father could work legally at gambling. During the day he was a boxman on a crap table and during the night he played poker at the Union Plaza. We didn't go to Church much from that time until I joined the Church. I guess my father didn't feel comfortable since he was hanging out with some bad people including former Mafia types. When I was seventeen I had an unfortunate love affair with a girl. I turned to the Church for spiritual guidance since I was so depressed. The priest said even though my sister was active that he didn't know me and my father well enough so he wasn't interested in helping me. It turned me off to the Catholic Church that I wasn't worth their time even to talk with.
I had a friend in high school that I was close with that was a quasi-Mormon. He smoked a pack a day and chased girls with me with a couple of other guys one who was supposedly a good Mormon. He gave me a Book of Mormon that I tossed in a drawer. My friend and his family moved to Des Plaines right after we graduated. I was supposed to go to Fort Knox for howitzer training prior to attending Roswell Military Academy but I went with my friend back to Illinois for a couple of weeks. I came back to Vegas and went to a football game with the supposedly good Mormon and met the girl who I kissed in front of 12,000 fans. My brashness appealed to her but unfortunately she was messing around with three other guys. My brother-in-law knew her boyfriend who I had played with on the high school soccer team. The guy would give him a play by play description when he would pick her up after I dropped her off at night around eight or nine p.m. She was a screwed up mess. Her mother had gotten pregnant with her at fifteen and had four children before 30 with three different men. She was also a radical feminist who was president of the N.O.W. in Las Vegas and marched for woman's right to abortion. Her rationale was that she didn't want her daughter or other woman to go through what she had. Needless to say she was not successful as both her daughters had trouble. Her youngest daughter was married by fifteen and my girlfriend was married three times by 25. When I last saw her in 1977 she was married to a 45 year old pharmacist and had a German shepherd dog since she was unable to have children which she desperately wanted and he was her substitute.
I joined the Church after reading the Book of Mormon and gaining a testimony. I knew much about Catholics since as an Italian American my two sisters were married to Catholics. My oldest sister was a charsmatic Catholic and became so fanatical that she was a Carmelite that tithed ten percent of her personal income. I had a poor baptismal interview which didn't go in to any details of my brief life which included messing around with my girlfriend. Since I felt I had repented and was washed clean I went on a mission one year after I joined the Church. I had limited exposure to the Church and any thing I learned was what I heard in a nine month period every Sunday. I never went to seminary, primary, or mutual. I attended a few young adult activities and read the scriptures from cover to cover four times. There were a lot of things not contained in the scriptures or discussed that I needed to know.
I finally went to the LTM in September 1975. I had no clue whatsoever about what was expected or even what missionaries did other than teaching the discussions. I had a limited exposure to the missionaries having taken all seven discussions in two days. They never talked with me again after I was baptized. In fact they had trouble with my brash personality and one argued with another whether to even baptize me. I had requested baptism on my own a few weeks after they were done teaching me. I wasn't invited to any mormons house for dinner. Mothers didn't exactly welcome me with open arms. I made a few friends of guys from high school in the young adult group. I went to the local community college and took a few business classes.
I gave a farewell talk in church. I didn't have much money so my elder's quorum was supposed to help me when my money ran out which it did a couple months in to my mission. I went to Utah with one of the guys whose family took me through the Salt Lake Temple. My friend's parents were divorced but his mother had remarried and lived in Santaquin. I was even ordained to be an elder in a funny way. I was sustained in Las Vegas but set apart by Don S. Robertson in Spanish Fork since I was in Utah taking out my endowments. I went in the mission home on the same day as my friend so he gave me a ride up to Salt Lake City in his Dodge Charger. He drove over 100 miles per hour. I am surprised we didn't die since we missed a flatbed by inches.
I learned everything I know from listening to a few speakers the nine weeks I was in the LTM about missionary work. My companion in the LTM was a starting college quarterback who also had an Italian American name. He was slick and very polished. His sister went to the Y. He was very appealing to young women. I knew this because he was around 6 feet tall with blond hair and brown eyes. He looked like a body builder. He was a humble guy who prayed hard and studied hard. After a month I began to get worried as he began to express doubts about his mission. We lived in Allen Hall and our bedroom windows looked right in to the Elms Apartment. We couldn't escape the young women next door who almost never closed their curtains. One day he came in and told me he was going home that he had transgressed with his girl friend back home and needed to clear it up before he could go. I don't know if he ever went again on his mission. It was a great blow to me since I really loved the guy and thought he would make a great leader some day.
I wasn't given any new companion so I spent the next few weeks alone in my room studying and struggling with Italian. It was a bear to learn but I almost mastered the baptismal challenge and I could say a few basic phrases. I remember everyone of us had inadequacies with the language and the lessons. We all supported one another the best we could. I could tell that it was a competive thing as elders jockeyed from the very beginning to be district leader in the LTM. The guys in my group were aggressive and cocky. They talked a bunch of crap to each other believing they were destined for greatness. I was just as cocky I had prayed to the Lord that I would be like Wilford Woodruff or John Taylor and would baptize thousands. I even had an experience of seeing the second coming during the time I was in the LTM.
Soon we boarded a plane for Italy which lasted for hours. One elder hit on the stewardess as he tried teaching her the gospel. He was also a Catholic convert who reminded me of guys I knew growing up in Illinois. Even though he was an odd duck I raised my appraisal of him.
When we got to Rome we were taken to meet our mission president Leopoldo Larcher. He wasn't much older than us being around 30. He had a young wife and three little children. I was told he had joined the church about three years before. He immediately bonded with me since he knew I was of Italian descent also. He went on about how we would do a great work together among our people. He had a lot of passion but I could tell he wasn't overly experienced but I didn't mind since we had that in common also. I was impressed by his charismatic good looks and attitude. He told me that he intended for me to be trained by the best missionary in the field and that I would return to Rome as his mission assistant. He also told me I could serve in the Palermo area near Altofonte Parco where my grandfather came from so I could do some family history. I was really flabbergasted because he really was sincere about his promises. He told me I was to serve with Giorgio D. P. He told me Elder D. P. was from his home area and that he was an extraordinary elder who had baptized many people and was the top elder in the mission and that I was to be trained by the best elder in the mission. He was sending me in to Ragusa which had been opened only a few weeks previous. Elder D. P. would teach me everything I needed to know but he didn't speak a word of English but I would master Italian and have a successful mission.
I took a train that traveled the length of Italy from Rome to Brindisi and then was placed on a ferry and finally arrived in Catania. A couple elders got off in other places on route but Ragusa was the farthest south in the mission. I was met by Elders R. H. and Elder F. the zone leaders at Catania. I was driven down to Ragusa by car where I met my district which had six elders. The six elders lived at Via Giovanni Meli 1/11 which was an apartment building on the point of a bridge. We literally had a breathtaking view of a valley and then the red/blue light district of the town across the bridge.
My district was comprised of Elder F. and his companion Elder B., Elder Q. and his companion Elder S., and Elder D.P. and me. Elder F. told me how Elder D.P. had opened another city Siracusa. There he had stood on a stool and with a loud speaker called the people to repentance. He had baptized about twenty people and there was a strong branch there now. D.P. had been the branch president there and sent to new cities to build them up. He was now in Ragusa to get the city started.
When I first got there we rented a storefront where we held church and then eventually we held services at our apartment. We had a temporary font that we filled with kettles of water and I witnessed four baptism during the five months I was there.
Elder F. was a nice likeable guy as was his companion Elder B. Elder Q was a strange fellow who had a quirky sense of humor and was a highly competive guy. He and his companion had a hard time competing with Elder D.P. who was the top missionary in the entire mission. F. was more level-headed and was training a greenie but he was due shortly to go home. D.P. was everything I was told and then some. He taught more discussions than any other missionary, placed more Book of Mormons and baptized on a regular basis. He was number one in every statistic and was awesome in all respects including looks and personality. He was a missionaries missionary. The mission president put out a weekly newsletter that showed the top twenty companionships. I was shown a few previous issues with D.P. clearly number one by a large margin for as long as he was a missionary. The missionaries both respected and were jealous of D.P. They openly competed with him with Elders doing everything possible to be number one. D.P. wasn't even consciously aware of the effect he had on others he was just a natural and successful at whatever he put his hand.
D.P. was oblivious to their feelings. He was this likeable good looking sophisticated Italian convert. His father owned a large and famous shoe company for women. His sister and family sent him thousands of lire every few weeks. He was even more charismatic than Leopoldo Larcher. There wasn't anyone that didn't love him in Ragusa or in the mission. He knew enough to never rock the boat and still outperform others. His nonawareness actually might have been his downfall since it appeared he was just a blessed person.
Young adults and adults would invite him to their homes for his social conversation and presence. When we street tracted large crowds would gather. Priests would buy twenty Book of Mormons in a casual conversation on the street. We would go in to municipal buildings and meet with dignitaries who put dozens of Book of Mormons in the local libraries and schools. We had appointments from morning until evening. People beg us to eat with them and be their guests. Even during the afternoon naps we were invited in even when we tried not to impose. Vendors gave him great deals and would want him to meet their daughters which he usually brushed off. I heard them offer their daughters to him in marriage which he declined tactfully and gracefully.
Soon I was caught up in the success of Elder D.P. Every week it was D.P./B. topping the mission. I passed off my baptismal challenge easily. I learned the language rapidly since he really couldn't speak a word of English. We baptized three people in a matter of three months which was unheard of in Italy. I even passed off one of the discussions.
Elder F. was at the end of his mission and was soon on his way home. He was replaced by Elder N. who had been in Sardegna. Elder F. was kind of a kick back guy that got along with most of us. Noble was an intense guy that liked to come off as a hard guy. He didn't brook any conversation it was his way or the highway. He let you know he was in charge.
I began to sense not all was right with our district and that there was some rivalry going between N, Q, S, and Elder D.P. F. let D.P. do his own thing but N. tried to oversee him. Q. couldn't outdo D.P. so he concentrated on taking me down by ridiculing me. One day he was bragging and laughing how he and S. would come home by way of the blue light district. I told them that I had heard S. Dilworth Young's talk and that they should go around. He told us how the women would offer them their services and it was funny. D.P. never walked through that area because we were told by our mission president to avoid such places. We would pray every morning as a district before we would go out. Q. and S. began to hit me on the back of the head during the prayer. Q. would laugh and say do you feel the spirit Elder. One time they with F. held me down and try to force pudding in my mouth saying there was alcohol in it. I knew there was no pudding but I would be darned if I would let them man handle me. It took all five of them to fight me to the floor. I never let them shove the spoon in my mouth. It ticked them off that I couldn't be broken.
Later when N. came in he was tight with D.Q. who portrayed me as not being one of the guys. One day N. called me in to his room. He told me that I was a wicked and slothful servant and that I had to be commanded in all things. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about since I was working sixty hours a week and was in the top companionship in the mission. I even walked so much I wore a hole three inches deep in the back of my right foot which bleed and scabbed over. I told him I didn't have a clue what he meant but I began to pass off my discussions quicker and got another one done since passing my Star Chart was the only thing between me and a senior companionship.
A few weeks later N. became really angry with me when an investigator who was physically deformed asked for us to heal him. D.P. didn't know what to do since the young man was well-known in the city and had lots of university friends. He took the discussions and came to Church. I didn't think his desire to be healed was unreasonable. The Spirit told me that I could heal him if he would fast and pray. I told him if he had the faith to believe that I would lay my hands on his head and he would be healed. D.P. talked to N. about it. We arranged a time for the blessing. N. called me in and told me he wouldn't let me jeopardize the work in Ragusa if I failed and no way would he let me give the guy a blessing. I knew the young man would reject the gospel and told him we would lose him and his friends as investigators but N. told me that was too bad and he was in charge. I shut up since I was an obedient type. D.P. told me he believed I could heal the guy but N. was the district leader and we had to do what he said since we were just getting started.
I began to worry about Elder D.P. who started receiving letters from a young woman from Siracusa. He was very enamored of her and started writing her regularly. He suggested he might marry her after his mission. I told him to lock his heart having read Spencer W. Kimball's talk when I was in the MTC. I figured since she was in another city several kilometers away he would be safe.
D.P. was a very generous and loving kind of guy. I could see that women were very attracted to him as they would via for him to notice him. He didn't succumb to it but usually would find a way to teach them. I never saw him act improper in the presence of a woman.
He got some money around Christmas time and offered to buy me anything I wanted. I was joking one day and told him since he was a millionaire that one day when he ran the factory I would like him to buy me a Lamborghini. I told him I would settle for a children's book with pictures of Italian objects. He threw in a couple of Scrooge McDuck books to help me learn Italian. He promised to buy me the car when he ran the factory. I didn't have a coat and my quorum stopped sending me my $160 so D.P. carried me between checks and literally gave me the coat off his back.
The friction in our district started getting worse as I could tell no matter how hard the other elders tried to top D.P. as the top elder no one could. As long as D.P. was left alone he would always be the top elder unless something happened to him. Then a very bad thing did happened. The young woman that was writing D.P. decided to come and visit him. When I heard this from D.P. I told the district leader about it who told me not to worry. They would protect D.P. if she did show up. One Sunday she showed up with three other young adults--a girl and two guys.
When they knocked on the door the district leader said to the elder answering to let them in. I would have never let them in for any reason knowing she was there for Elder D.P. I wouldn't let D.P. go anywhere without me even though he was hot to be with her. I walked around the apartment next to D.P. which drove him crazy. Eventually I had to go to the bathroom and asked the other elders to not let him be alone with her or leave the apartment without me. I knew he would be in trouble if he got alone with her.
Ten minutes later when I came out I couldn't find D.P. anywhere. I asked where he was and they lied to me telling me that he was with one of the other elders and would be back soon. He was just going down to her car to get something. The spirit told me they were lying since he didn't show up after five minutes. I walked around the apartment and saw all the elders and the girls' friends who were having a good time talking. D.P. was nowhere to be found. He disappeared until late that evening with the girl. I knew that he was out making out with her. He came back and apologized to me and told me how much he was in love with the girl and he couldn't help himself. He even told me he knew he would be in trouble with the President and would probably be transferred.
N. turned him in as he should and he received an emergency transfer. D.P. was sent out as a branch president and later got in trouble messing with the same girl who followed him around. The truth was they should have sent him to Canada instead of me or as far away from her as they could.
I became companions with Elder S. who was promoted to a senior companion. The interesting thing was that S. and I became the top elders in the mission after D.P. left so he got his wish for a week or two. S. got some bad karma as he began suffering stomach problems. It turned out he had a duodenoum ulcer from the stress of trying to be the top elder. The doctors told him that he might have to go home unless he took an injection in the side of his buttocks every day for a month and slow down a little. He was a wimp and didn't want to inject himself and he didn't trust me to do it. He had Sister Loretta who was married and a new convert in her 40s stick him in his behind every day. You talk about humbling. I came to appreciate S. later at the Y when he was working on his business degree I would even talk to him from time to time. When he was removed from the mission he was a half-way decent guy. I suspect he is a millionarie today.
I have to say that my mission was ruined after D.P. was transferred. S. couldn't protect me from Q nor N who whether out of guilt or just dislike were downright hostile to me. N rubbed in my letter to Larcher which I knew he would. He felt it validated his treatment. I really was angry with them for letting D.P. run off with the girl and for riding my tail when I was being a straight arrow missionary. I knew that letting D.P. out with her was a way of taking him down for good. I am just not sure they did it consciously or unconsciously. I do know they were stupid when they let him leave with the girl. What did they think was going to happen. They knew he wasn't suppose to leave his companion even for one second. I wrote Larcher and told him about the D.P. situation which did not make N too happy since I cast him in a bad light.
A few weeks later as I got farther in my mission and could understand the language even better, I discovered from teaching the law of chastity that I had not fully resolved everything before I joined the church. I knew that if I confessed I would minimum get transferred away from Q and N. At that point I downright would do anything to leave them and knew it would affect me for the rest of my life what happened to D.P. Sure enough the mission president made me write my bishop and stake president, my parents and former non-mormon girlfriend. The latter two thought I was whacked out of my brain and laughed about it. Soon I went to Catania where I remained for a few weeks then I went up to Rome and put on a plane for Toronto where I served the remaining fifteen months. As I left the airport Larcher lamented how sad it was that I was being transferred since I was going to be one of his assistants if I had stayed I would have been a credit to all Italians. I said to myself if you wanted me so bad you would not have had me transferred. You could have told the Missionary Committee what Ballard later told me which was you repented before you joined the church and it was washed clean at baptism.
When I got to Canada and told my story to Ballard, he told me that he thought everyone had overreacted and mishandled my situation that this was all water under the bridge and to move on. He said he would have never had me transferred and that he thought my mission president's inexperience contributed to my being with him but now that I was there to make the best of the experience. At least now my elder's quorum would have to pay the money every month to keep me on a mission since he and my stake president had been companions on their missions in England.
As I look back on the matter I don't blame Larcher since all the players in the story kept him uninformed for their own reasons. It would have been nice if we had really sat down and had a conversation about this but it just never worked out that we did. I was never treated in Canada as a productive elder but was always told by the other missionaries I was a problem elder as they would speculate why I was transferred. I was told by them all kinds of wild stories from immoralilty to fighting with companions etc. I kept my mouth shut at the time because President Ballard told me to. I was always under a cloud that I might be sent home unworthily because of my inauspicious transfer.
I had an interesting genealogy experience. When I was in Catania I ran across a guy named Gesualdo Toscano who I paid $400 to do my genealogy. He was supposed to take both my Bruno line and Gaita line back four generations. He later had some psychological problems and I was told he had professional help. He kept insisting I didn't pay him. Lucky for me I had a receipt from the Royal Bank of Canada showing he had cashed my money order. He did a good job on the Bruno line but he didn't follow up on the Gaita line. Till this day I have not been able to crack open that line. Larcher bugged me on my mission to pay Toscano again but I refused since I didn't have any money. I had to have Elder Ballard get him off my back. I also returned the cool yellow jacket to D.P. who had loaned it to me in Ragusa. I think he got it back after his mission. I never heard from D.P. ever again nor have I seen my Lamborghini. I would trade the car if I knew he came back to the Church. I have tried for years to find someone that knows what happened to him but no one does.
Even though D.P. is not blameless in that he messed around and was eventually excommunicated he might have been better protected by his companions. I got what I deserved if I had been less arrogant things might have been different. I got caught up in doing the work at the cost of getting along with my colleagues. I did what I thought was right at the time but I might have been a little less narrow-minded. I learned a few things in human relations that sometimes being right doesn't endear you to everyone. I can definitely say D.P. could have been protected from himself if our district had been more vigilant. They knew when they let him out the door without someone to accompany him what would probably happen. Maybe he would have gone down in a different way but I would have preferred it be on someone else's watch not when I was assigned as his companion. I sure didn't expect to be lied to by missionaries who should have known better.
I will always remember S. Dilworth Young telling us to watch out for our friends so we could smell our roses in December and how he let an LDS buddy go in to a prostitute when he could have spoken out. I have always lived my life as my brother's keeper so I wouldn't have that kind of guilt but still despite my best efforts I failed. I feel it better to be offensive and err on the side of being judgmental than to have your fellow missionary's blood on your skirt. There is nothing sadder than seeing a fellow missionary go home in disgrace when you could have changed the outcome. Elder Ballard drummed that in to my head and its definitely one of my core values that there is accountability. I would rather take the beating in this life than face the Savior at the judgment seat. I have even turned myself in if I feel I have done something against the Church. I have gotten better as the years go by of giving the person a chance to do the right thing before speaking up. I have insisted in my own life a time or two that even I should be disciplined for minor infractions and my wife and children.
I learned some negative things and positive things that have helped me cope as a member of the Church from my mission. Even though I see the glass as half empty I realize that what happened in Ragusa made me a better person and was a learning experience. I would never have met Elder Ballard who shaped my life and put me in touch with general authorities whom I would later serve. I probably wouldn't be blogging today. I know that even when abused by those you should trust on your mission if you remain faithful you can still accomplish much in the kingdom. I know that people many times tread on each other not realizing that what they do can have lifelong consecquences. Sometimes they don't do it even consciously that is why it is so hard to know their motivations. We can still not be victims if we choose to move on and shaped our own destiny as Victor Frankl taught by his example in the Nazi concentration camp. A mission for the most part is a pretty safe environment in which to learn about relationship and still do some good.
I believe until this day we could have saved D.P. I also know if my district had been kinder and more gentle and obeyed the rules exactly I would have served all two years in Italy. I wouldn't have become so discouraged that I would have put myself in the position of being transferred by writing that letter to Larcher. I instinctively knew what I was doing would get me a transfer.
One redeeming thing for me was when they called my second daughter to my old mission. I am hopeful she might have found a few people I might have touched had I been allowed to stay. She had a very succesful mission and mastered the language. I will never know until the next life whether I taught everyone I was meant to in either place. People are not predictable and we should never assume they will always do the right thing for the right reasons. I am glad there is repentance so maybe in ten years when I go on a couple of more missions I will be a better missionary than last time. I know I will stay with my companion no matter what. It is better to be obedient than live a life where you are always asking forgiveness. I cringe today when I hear a missionary say you can't always get permission but you can always get forgiveness. I am not sure if they read my story they will realize it might take a lifetime to get over the consequences of a lapse in the rules.
I think every elder in the Ragusa District suffered the day that D.P. fell. As I reflect back I wonder if any of us were truly left standing. Let alone whether being number one was worth the price we paid thirty long years ago.
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