Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Missionary Letters--Daejeon Korea
I never knew I would have a mother who would be a woman's basketball coach...Life is funny.  Every day is a struggle these days.  I didn't know it was possible to feel so many things at once...so most of the time I kinda just let myself go numb.  It's really hard for me to fight my depression right now, but I just pray and I'm really trying to believe that everything is going to be ok.  I wish I could have some kind of confirmation that I did enough.  I don't know why in my life I always make so many mistakes and waste so much time.  I really wanted to serve my mission so I had no regrets but it just seems like I really can't do anything right.  The worst part is I know that if I could just somehow be grateful then I wouldn't feel this way....this is a bummer.  Anyhow it's ok because if I just wait about 3 hours then I will feel completely different anyway....finishing my mission is like having PMS for 6 weeks.  Anyhow I just try to have hope.  That's kinda hard for me.  And I try to make myself believe that God will make up what I didn't do.
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