Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Missionary Letters--Daejeon Korea

I never knew I would have a mother who would be a woman's basketball coach...Life is funny. Every day is a struggle these days. I didn't know it was possible to feel so many things at once...so most of the time I kinda just let myself go numb. It's really hard for me to fight my depression right now, but I just pray and I'm really trying to believe that everything is going to be ok. I wish I could have some kind of confirmation that I did enough. I don't know why in my life I always make so many mistakes and waste so much time. I really wanted to serve my mission so I had no regrets but it just seems like I really can't do anything right. The worst part is I know that if I could just somehow be grateful then I wouldn't feel this way....this is a bummer. Anyhow it's ok because if I just wait about 3 hours then I will feel completely different anyway....finishing my mission is like having PMS for 6 weeks. Anyhow I just try to have hope. That's kinda hard for me. And I try to make myself believe that God will make up what I didn't do.

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