This week was quite the week for me. I have done some stupid things, but I think I've learned a lot. I mean, learn from your mistakes right? At least, I hope I'm learning. Sometimes with all the talks I read such as "The Fourth Missionary" I wonder how useful it is to be on a mission. I mean, it's hard to be exactly obedient and I haven't been good at it, I try to improve all the time and I feel like every transfer I get a little better, but I still just am so far from perfectly obedient, and it's hard because it says in that talk if you aren't perfectly obedient and have charity, your mission doesn't change you at all and it was pretty worthless. Then I feel pretty crappy and wonder if I'll ever be the 4th missionary and my mission will be worth it at all. I hope so, but right now I'm still figuring it all out. I kind of wish I hadn't read that talk. It kind of upset me. I wonder why. It doesn't sound like a false doctrine concept. I guess it's just one hard to swallow, because it's not hard to come on a mission and come home in vain. In fact, I can't promise I won't. But, I'm trying to not.
Showing posts with label Discouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Discouragement. Show all posts
Monday, January 4, 2010
Questioning Whether A Mission is Worthwhile
This week was quite the week for me. I have done some stupid things, but I think I've learned a lot. I mean, learn from your mistakes right? At least, I hope I'm learning. Sometimes with all the talks I read such as "The Fourth Missionary" I wonder how useful it is to be on a mission. I mean, it's hard to be exactly obedient and I haven't been good at it, I try to improve all the time and I feel like every transfer I get a little better, but I still just am so far from perfectly obedient, and it's hard because it says in that talk if you aren't perfectly obedient and have charity, your mission doesn't change you at all and it was pretty worthless. Then I feel pretty crappy and wonder if I'll ever be the 4th missionary and my mission will be worth it at all. I hope so, but right now I'm still figuring it all out. I kind of wish I hadn't read that talk. It kind of upset me. I wonder why. It doesn't sound like a false doctrine concept. I guess it's just one hard to swallow, because it's not hard to come on a mission and come home in vain. In fact, I can't promise I won't. But, I'm trying to not.
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