Missionary Letters--Daejeon Korea

Thanks for your letter. It's so strange the roads that life ends up taking us down. But I think maybe the thing that I most need to learn is to just enjoy the experiences. Sometimes I wonder how this mission can be the time that I most spend with people but really feel like it's just me and God. My trainee is quite a challenge for me, the hardest thing it seems in mission work is to help people have desire. It's sometimes feels like smashing your head against a brick wall. She doesn't seem to have very much interest or love for our investigators as of yet but from my past experiences i know that as i set a good example of obedience and more importantly love she will progress. We have some awesome investigators right now and more importantly i really love the members of our Naju branch. They are so close because it's so tiny but I really feel like they are some of my dearest friends...it's kind of hard because i know i am just a missionary and maybe one year later no one will remember my name...but for now i tell myself i can keep in touch and that i will know them forever. I bet it was a lot of fun to see your friends, the I think I have gained the moral courage to be able to be the kind of woman that I want to be, but practise in a controlled environment might be a good thing haha. It's so hard to believe that I have almost been a missionary for a year. The days are forever long but somehow the months just fly. It's so incredibly hot you wouldn't even believe it. I fainted the other day because it is just so hot and we are so busy. I still maybe over schedule us too much but I would rather over schedule than not have anything to do. I take a cold shower every morning and then I never dry off because I just sweat all day. Most people don't have air conditioning in Korea so it's just hot. But it's kinda fun and I think I am losing weight at least. The thing that I miss most about being a junior companion is i don't really have time to think, I just have to do. My greenie says she thinks that I'm a workaholic and all the elders in our zone call me and ask me how I get such good stats but they don't believe me when i say we just work hard and plan well and follow preach my gospel. The truth is that most people are just lazy. I know, because I was a lazy person before my mission. But I finally figured out what you were trying to tell me about depression when I was in collage...Everything is just a choice. I can choose to work hard or to be lazy. I can chose to be depressed because I'm lonely or to enjoy the good relationships that I have. It's still really hard at the end of the day to choose to work hard and be happy but I am getting better at it. The truth about life is that if your tired or hungry it's harder to follow god hahaha. But those are also the times that if you choose to do it you find the most power. Anyhow I don't really have much important to say. Interesting things happen everyday but for some reason when I have time to email than I don't know what to say. I don't know why but when I do think about anything besides mission work than I just wonder about my life and what I should do in the future. I wonder what kind of life God wants me to live and what kind of person I should become. Everyone that I have ever met has such a different concept of me. Lately I just want to chose one personality and one set of talents and really become excellent at SOMETHING everything is just too hard. What kind of things do you think I should work the most at developing?