Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Missionaries Say the Darnest Things

I had the missionaries over for dinner and one of the elders turned to me and told me that someone did a poor job patching and repairing the living room wall. I looked to see what he was talking about and sure enough there were a few uneven places that were noticeable when you looked closely. I told him that he was very observant but since I was renting it wasn't a big deal to me but it wouldn't take much effort to paint it. He agreed. I then said I bet your dad is a contractor. He said how do you know. I said you remind me of a companion I had in the mission field whose dad was a contractor. He then told me about how his dad had a small company and how he had worked in it before his mission.

Then I told him the story of my companion who had special permission to call his finacee every P-Day. We discussed how he had a tough mission president named President Kenneth Brailsford who gave every missionary the talk lock your heart. He said his mission president was a tough dude and the missionaries really followed him. He had 116 baptisms right before he went home in June which was a record in the Southern and Eastern States Missions. When he started they had 30 or 40 tops. I said I bet he will be an area Seventy in no time. I said he sounds just like my mission president M. Russell Ballard I bet he is a Ballard man. They said how did you know he was close friends with Elder Ballard. The told me he was on Forbes list of the most wealthiest people in the world. They said he could look you in the eyes and see in your soul.

I laughed I said he learned that one from Elder Ballard also. I asked them if he made a point when looking in their eyes of poking them in the sternum when making a point. I made the missionary stand up and demonstrated the Ballard technique for keeping or getting attention. I asked them if he had a hot seat where he put them so they could improve. He didn't do that but they said he was best friends with Elder Ballard.

At dinner one of the missionaries brought up the darndest thing. I told him I had taught missionary preparation 130 at BYU-Hawaii. He said I have a doctrinal question for you that someone asked him recently "How would you respond to a woman who said that Satan had sex with Eve." I told him that image actually grossed me out. My wife who reads a bunch of blogs said "I have heard it said that Satan might have been the father of Cain but the Bible says his father was Adam." I told the Elder I doubted Satan was the father of any of Adam's children. His companion and I both thought he couldn't have had sex with her before they came to earth since Adam and Eve were in a state of innocence.


Dan Knudsen said...

My understanding is that one of the major drawbacks from not getting a physical body (Satan and his followers' dilemma) is not being able to having sex. So that speculation is a total waste of time.

Bored in Vernal said...

I think the missionaries were referring to a strange doctrine they had heard from one of their contacts. I've heard it before, and a full explanation, including how Satan could impregnate a human can be found here.

There is nothing I enjoy more than discussing obscure and wacky doctrines. Still, I am annoyed that the missionaries brought this particular one up in front of my young children.

They do say the darndest things.

PS--Congratulations for being Trashed!